The Balance of Living a Handmade and Natural Life

Shyness, Introverted Personality and Goal of Selling

2012-02-02T13:04:00.000-05:00

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. It's kind of amazing how many people can share similar feelings.

After writing this post, I kept thinking about it, especially after reading each comment. Along with being an introverted person, I am very shy. I have been trying to work on my shyness as well as trying to be more out there when it comes to larger group settings. There are times, even in my professional career where I have to be able to deal with group situations, not just one on one situations.

One of my goals is to maybe start an etsy.com page and also sell at craft fairs. Being an introvert makes this goal really difficult. I attempted to help a family member a couple of years ago at a craft fair and I didn't do so well. My shyness, my unease at trying to interact with large numbers of people, and my fear of failure (Would I say something wrong? Would people not want to interact and talk to me?) made this more difficult. Since I really want to try to sell things I make, maybe I can overcome some of this shyness and start being a little more extroverted and stop worrying about what others might think of me.

I love to create and my next goal within my creative goal is to organize a place and a time to create and make nice things. I am hoping that if I can find time and a place to create where I don't have to set up and take down every time, then maybe I can actually get thing made and made well. Maybe I can practice and work on my learning curve issue. Part of the problem is that my brother in law is staying with us and is staying in our basement where I would normally set up my craft station. Now that I have the kids in bed earlier and I have more time to myself at night, I would love to spend that time creating at least once in a while.

I am hoping to get more proficient and feel more comfortable so that I can believe that I can meet my goal of selling what I make!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday:Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish people knew about you?

2012-02-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

It's time once again for Wishcasting Wednesday. This week Jamie asks:

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish people knew about you?

I wish people knew just how terrified I can get in new situations and in group settings. I wish people knew how much I fear what others think of me. I wish people knew how afraid I am that once they get to know me, they won't like me. I wish people knew how fearful I am of not doing things good enough, which ultimately means that I expect to do everything perfectly the first time I do it. I wish people knew how afraid of failure I am. I'm not sure anyone, even my husband realizes how I feel.

I have to admit that all of this fear has gotten better the older I've gotten. I am starting to be ok with who I am, but I still am leery of interacting in group situations and I am definitely leery of trying new things and putting myself out there, but at least now I actually attempt to interact in group situations and try new things. I absolutely prefer one on one situations. I have always loved having one best friend and pretty much spending all my time with them. I am not someone who enjoys large parties or groups. Even if I attend a large party or am in a large and even not so large group situation, I tend to spend my time interacting with one maybe two people.

Hopefully, this is something that I will be able to overcome. At least I am aware of this and can work on it.

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish for Your Health & Wellness?

2012-01-25T08:35:00.002-05:00

It's Wednesday once again and this week Jamie asks: "Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish for Your Health & Wellness?"

This question is near and dear to my heart. As I've written, I've tested positive for the BRCA2 gene which means I am more at risk for Breast and Ovarian cancer. It was crazy to think that I wouldn't be positive. My mom has had breast cancer, her mom, her mom's twins sister, and my mom's grandmother. There are a lot of decisions I need to make, but thankfully I don't need to make them right now. Do I have surgery? Do I pass on the surgery and try to just eat healthy and exercise and try to deal with stress better as well as have my preventative tests every 6 months? Do I just take a wait and see approach and make the decision as time goes on? Oh, and this gene also places me at higher risk for pancreatic cancer, which my grandmother's sister died of as well as melanoma. These are not a really high risk , but definitely higher than the general population.

What do I wish for my health and wellness? I wish that I will make the right decision for my overall health, including my mind, body, and spirit. I wish that no matter what decision I make, regarding this as well as any decision in my life, I make an informed decision based on facts and not fear. I wish to have a healthy mind body and spirit. I wish to make time to make this wish a reality.

What do you wish for?

Amy

Diet, Diet, Diet!!!!

2012-01-19T14:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I really should have said diet, exercise and stress reduction! Right now, that is my plan for how to deal with my BRCA 2 test results. At this point, I am not willing to remove body parts. To be honest, I am scared of many things, both having surgery and not having surgery. I honestly can't imagine removing my breasts without actually needing to, but I also am totally scared that I will get cancer and die early.

I am trying to make some pretty radical changes to my diet. My goal is to eventually eat a vegan raw diet, but for now, it is very slow going. I have started eating green smoothies in the morning, the problem is that I am still eating foods that are not really what I should be eating. I am hoping that I can increase the good foods and in return, I will decrease the amount of bad foods. I am hoping to increase my exercise and lose weight.

As for stress management, I have 3 small kids and life is a little crazy. I need to make sure that I make time to be creative. That is the biggest piece of my stress reduction plan. I also need to make time for yoga and meditation.

All this being said, I don't know what the future will bring. As time passes, I may change my mind and decide to have surgery. At this point, I don't want surgery, bit this is not a decision I plan to make lightly. I will be doing a ton of research and try to find out what the next steps should be.

Amy

Test Results

2012-01-17T12:15:00.000-05:00

If you didn't know, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer just about 1 year ago. She has gone through chemo and radiation treatments and so far things are looking positive. Her lump was caught early, unlike my grandmother her mother, who almost 6 years ago died of breast cancer. Since my mom got diagnosed, she also got tested for the BRCA gene. She got confirmation that she is a carrier for the BRCA 2 gene. Currently, in my family, my mom, my grandmother, my grandmother's twin sister, and my great grandmother all have had breast cancer. My grandmother's younger sister also had and died of pancreatic cancer, which the BRCA 2 gene puts you at higher risk for.

Now that my mom got tested, my sisters and I had to decide if we were going to get tested. At first, I was leaning totally against having the gene test. After talking with my doctor, I decided that it would be better to find out if I had the gene, because with my family history, without getting tested, I would need to have increased testing to ensure that things were caught early just in case I was at higher risk and didn't know it. I got met with a genetic counselor right after Christmas and with my husband decided to have the test. Just about a week ago, I found out that I tested positive for the gene.

I wasn't totally surprised at the results, but I was still in shock from actually seeing it on paper and having one of my worst fears confirmed. Of course, the immediate recommendation was to have a bilateral mastectomy and oophorectomy. I was told that I needed to meet with an oncologist and discuss my options. If I decided not to have surgery, I need to have a mammogram and a MRI every 6 months alternating each time. If I don't have the oophorectomy, I need to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound and a CA-125 blood test every 6 months. Even though I don't have cancer, I left that appointment feeling like I had been given a a death sentence, especially if I didn't have surgery. Not exactly a great feeling to have especially not actually having cancer. I thought that since my family tended to get cancer later in life, I have a decent amount of time to decide, but no, they just lucked out (if getting cancer at all can be considered lucky) and got cancer later in life. The BRCA 2 gene tends to cause earlier cancers, something I did not expect to hear.

I am still trying to figure out where to go from here. I have 3 small kids and a great husband. I don't want to get cancer. I don't want to go through the pain and suffering and even potentially die, but I also don't want to have surgery. There are too many reasons to go into right now, and at some point I will probably write about it just to put it in words that I can actually read. My New Year's goals go along with the changes that I want to make especially now that I have tested positive for the gene.

My diet needs to change and so do my exercise habits. I have joined in with another twins mom's blog for a healthy challenge. I am hoping that this challenge will help me make the changes that I need to make and hopefully make theme stick.

As well as changing my diet, I want to continue to try to use natural cleansers for my home and my body instead of using chemicals. I want to start doing yoga like I have been wanting to. I actually saw a book that I may get so that I can do yoga with the kids. I also want to focus on doing things to reduce my stress. According to the book "Crazy Sexy Diet", reducing stress helps increase telomerase which helps with increasing the size of telomeres which intern helps prevent chronic disease (I hope I explained that right. I should go back and double check). One way to help reduce my stress is by creating. I am hopeful that living the kind of life that I want to live will help me live a long happy healthy life!

Amy

Goal: Living Naturally

2012-01-12T13:11:00.000-05:00

One of my new goals this new year is to live more naturally. For me, this means making things when possible, not using harsh chemicals when possible, eating healthy, and other things like that. I would love to try not to buy things at big chain stores when possible, but unfortunately, the state of our financial affairs makes it so that we have to find the best price possible.

One thing I am trying to do, is to cook more at home. I am trying to make my own products when possible instead of relying on pre made items. I am trying eat healthier too. When I shop, I am trying to make sure that I only shop the outside perimeter of the store. I am trying to plan my meals in advance so that I am not wasting food. planning in advance and not wasting foods are 2 things that I really need to work on.

I have been cloth diapering since my twins were 6 months old. They are now going to be 3. Thankfully we are getting to the point of potty training and then we will be done with diapers (hopefully). A couple of months ago, I decided to start making my own "mama pads". I was a little afraid that I would be grossed out or that my husband would be grossed out. After talking to another twin mom friend, I decided to try making my own. Turns out, my husband is extremely supportive of this and I am on my 3rd cycle of using them and am really happy that I made the switch. Unlike cloth diapering, if I am traveling I will use disposables. My goal, now, is to refine my pattern and make better pads. Pretty sad, but I am really excited about making the switch!

I am trying to not use harsh chemicals in my house. I love how clean things get with bleach, but am not a fan of the smell, or having it around with little ones. My goal is to only use it occasionally and I plan on using white vinegar and baking soda more often. I have used both of these products depending on what I am cleaning and I have been happy with the results. I now need to get some recipes and find natural way of making an anti-bacterial cleanser that is not bleach. I also need to get organized (which is another goal) so that I am cleaning on a schedule (I hate cleaning!!). I am also trying not to use harsh chemicals in my health and beauty products. Again I am trying to stay away from buying pre made items in stores when possible and make my own from supplies!

I would love to make my kids clothes and even my own. My problem is that I am not that good at sewing clothes and I don't have a ton of time to practice. I try to use hand me downs for the kids so that we are not always buying new. I am trying to plan on making toys and learning experiences for them instead of looking to the store to get what I want. My next book to get is:

"Fabric-by-Fabric One-Yard Wonders: 101 Sewing Projects Using Cottons, Knits, Voiles, Corduroy, Fleece, Flannel, Home Dec, Oilcloth, Wool, and Beyond"

I am also trying to up cycle when possible. We try to donate unwanted clothing, but I would love to try to use it to make things instead of just giving it away (also a way to save money and not rely on stores all the time). I am using old receiving blanket for cloth wipes and my "mama pads". Again, this way I don't have to buy new material and spend money after throwing away perfectly usable cloth! My next goal is to go to a thrift store and actually buy clothing for cheap that is totally outdated and try to update it and make it current. I am totally inspired by http://www.newdressaday.com/ and would love to be as creative and thrifty!

Hopefully I can really start to work on these goals and make it so that I can feel good about doing what I can for my health, my family's health, and the environment! I think that, for me, it is good that I am writing this down so that a) I see it in black and white, and b) there are people who read my posts and hopefully this will make me more accountable.

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday:What do you wish to reclaim?

2012-01-11T08:49:00.000-05:00

I am once again joining in with Jamie Rider at jamieridlerstudios.ca for Wishcasting Wednesday.This week Jamie asks: What do you wish to reclaim?

For me this was actually an easy wish. I wish to reclaim my life. The last few years have been a little crazy. Five years ago I got engaged in the middle of grad school. six months later I was married to my best friend and 1 month after that we found out I was pregnant. A couple of weeks before that I sound my grandmother's house and just days after we found out I was pregnant, my mother in law died. Nine months later i gave birth to a beautiful boy after being on bed rest for 6 weeks. Three months later I was pregnant again. It was not really a surprise and we were thrilled. Two months later, I was afraid I was miscarrying, only to find out we were having twins. A little over two months later I was put on bed rest for fear of going into early labor. At week 35, I gave birth to a girl and a boy and things were great until 2 1/2 weeks after they were born and my son was rushed to Children's Hospital Boston with RSV. One week later, his twin sister was admitted with RSV too. We had 2 infants in the NICU and a 10 1/2 month old at home. My son was hospitalized for 3 weeks and my daughter for 2, although she was on a vent and tube fed for 6 days (until she pulled out her tubes, she's a feisty one). My grandfather died 1 week after the twins came home from the NICU and my sisters and I drove to NC with a year old and 6 week old twins. Four months later, we bought our house.

Thankfully, since then, things have been relatively quiet. The biggest issue lately is my mom being diagnosed with Breast cancer. My grandmother, her mother died of breast cancer. My mom was tested for the gene and is positive. I was tested and am finding out the results today.

This is a really, really long explanation for why I need to reclaim my life. I want to start living the life I really want. My New Years Goals spell out how I want to live my life. Now I have to reclaim my life and live it to it's fullest and follow my dreams and goals. Life has been crazy over the last 5 years, but life is settling down. Life is getting somewhat easier now that the kids are getting older. I need to stop making excuses and start living my life the way I really want to!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday:Who do you wish to make peace with?

2012-01-04T08:07:00.000-05:00

It's once again Wednesday and I as usual am looking forward to joining in with Jamie Ridler at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca for wish casting Wednesday. This week Jamie asks "Who do you wish to make peace with?"

I initially thought I should make peace with my brother in law. He has been living in my house for 8 months and has not really helped out at all. He has really only thought about himself and really pretty put down anyone who disagrees with him, oh and he hasn't had a job and really hasn't looked for a job. And there is so much more that I could complain about, but who I really want to make peace with is me.

I really need to make peace with who I am. I am always comparing myself with others sometimes appropriately, and sometimes not appropriately. I am always comparing my physical self, how pretty I am or not, how skinny I am or not, how in shape I am or not. I am always comparing myself as a parent too. Then I start getting really negative. It can sometimes affect my marriage/relationship as we have been together for 18 years. I have some better days and some not so good days.

I wish to be happy with who I am and how I parent and stop comparing myself to others. I wish to be at peace with who I am and be satisfied that my husband is happy and not looking for me to change (I know he is not. I know that fear is all from my mind). I need to be happy with my parenting skills and realize that having 3 kids who at one time were all under one year of age was not an easy situation and I did the best I could and my kids are great kids. I need to stop questioning if I caused their speech delay or their inability to share or their temper tantrums.

I need to make peace with me!

Amy

Defining Goals

2012-01-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

Like I said in my last post, I have a few goals that I want to work on in the coming year. I think, to make sure that I actually follow through, I am going to give myself time to get there instead of making myself meet all the goals at once. I also need to define my goals a little better. When I wrote them, I just wrote them down to have an idea of what I wanted and needed to work on. Now it's time to get to the knotty gritty of what I want to work on so that I know how I am going to meet these goals. I will probably at some point actually write up these goals like I was working as a social worker with problem, goal, interventions, and time frame listed so that I can measure and see if I am actually doing what I want to do. I will also be re-evaluating from time to time to make sure that the goals are still what I want and see if I need to change anything. For now though, I am just going to me a little more specific about each goal.

Cook more healthy foods, cook from scratch, and try to be as sustainable as possible: This is pretty self explanatory and basic, but to break it down, I want to follow through with eating the way I should be eating, stop using processed pre-made food, and try to eat local, and in season when possible. My goal is to shop the perimeter of the store, buy less packaged foods, make what I can instead of buying pre made such as using dried beans, making bread (gluten free), and buying good healthy food and making sure that it tastes good not just healthy.
Make time to be creative: I know how important it is for me to be creative, but I don't always make it easy. I am hoping to figure out a way to be able to make it easier to be creative (maybe if our house guest of 8 months leaves, I can set up something in the basement and keep it set up instead of setting up and taking down each time. I need to make set projects so that I am not trying to pull together everything when I find the time to do something creative. I also need to finish one project at a time instead of having multiple projects going at one time!
Try to live as natural a lifestyle as possible: I am trying to eat healthier, more sustainable, and locally. I am going to try to make my own cleansers and bath and body products for me and my family. I am going to try use less paper products and use cloth products more.Sometimes, I find myself using paper towels more often than not just because it is easier. I am hoping to use towels more and paper less. I am also hoping to use my cloth diapers more consistently. I have been doing a really good job here, but I am using disposable wipes more often than I had in the recent past and I need to get back to using the cloth wipes (especially since I like them better). I have been using cloth pads for my last couple of cycles. This may seem kind of gross and a little TMI, but I actually do like them better and I like again that I don't have to throw them out I just wash them daily with my diapers for the kids. And again, a little TMI, but I want to use more family cloth instead of toilet paper. I was doing it for a while, but stopped for some reason I can't explain. The best part is I have a ton of flannel receiving blankets and fleece scraps that I can use so I will not have to spend money or waste material. As I find or think of more ways of living naturally I will work on incorporating them into my life.
Spend more time in direct play with my kids: I have tended to let the kids watch tv probably more than I should. I sometimes feel like I have contributed to my kids speech delay, but I know that there are other issues that have contributed to it too. It has been a lot of work having 3 kids so close in age. As tough as it has been though, I am glad that they are close in age. Now that they are a little older (in 20 days, I'll have 3 three year olds for a month and a half), it is so much fun to watch them play with each other (that is when they are not fighting). We got a bunch of new toys for Christmas and I am loving how they play. We will be incorporating more structured play into our day as well as non structured play. My twins are being evaluated for public pre-school, and while I don't think that they will get in, I will not put them into pre-school for 2 years. I can't afford 2 in school for 2 years and I don't think that it is needed either, especially since I am home with them. That being said, I think that have a homeschool pre-school setting is a good thing to do. The only thing that I think will lack is interaction with other kids, but I am hoping that with playgroups, I can find kids for them to interact with.
Get my stuff organized: Man, this is going to be a work in progress! A huge work in progress. I'm not even sure I know where to begin. This is one where I will need to start with one room, one area of one room and start small. I will add more to this area as I figure out what to do. One thing i do know is that I definitely need to have a system for cleaning. That may be the first thing that I put in place. How to keep up with the laundry, vacuum, clean the kitchen, plan my meals, etc.
Start an etsy.com store: This is a goal I have had for a while. I want to try to make a little back from what I spend on materials being creative. I am hoping to make fun, creative small little accessories that people can feel good about buying for themselves or a gift.
Learn more about the things that I am interested in instead of just knowing a little about a lot of different things: Wow, this is another area that I need to spend time figuring out how to be specific. I want and need to learn more about gardening. I would love to learn more about permaculture and how we can incorporate that into our gardening, both veggie and flower. I want to learn more about herbs which also goes along with learning more about gardening. I want to learn more about aromatherapy and how to use it in my day to day life as well as maybe using it professionally. I want to learn more about art therapy and how I can use it as a career. I want to learn more about sewing and other crafts that I can work on making and selling or maybe even teaching. I want to learn more about meditation and yoga. I want to learn more about journaling and how to incorporate it into my career path. I want to learn more about cooking and eating healthy (not necessarily traditional nutrition, but more alternative ways of diets). I'm sure there is a ton more that I want to learn, but for now this is where I am going to focus.

So I have spent some time figuring out more specifics to my goals. I now need to actually work on accomplishing them. I am definitely going to wrote these down in more of a care plan format, like I would do for work. Maybe once I get that done, I can share a couple. Maybe if I luck out, the twins will get into public preschool and I will have a couple of hours of free time that I can devote to making these goals are reality. Maybe I can spend time creating and selling so that I am finding time to be creative and also so I can make some extra money.

Thanks for listening (ok reading),

Amy

New Year/New Goals

2012-01-01T23:35:00.000-05:00

It's January 1st 2012. Like most people, I am trying to figure out if I should make any resolutions. I am tinkling that I want to, but then there are those that talk about how resolutions are foolish. They say that resolutions don't work. They believe that resolutions are just a way to try to make changes but that they are just a way of making us feel better. This year, I am thinking that instead of making resolutions, I am going to Set goals for myself. Now this may seem like I am just using a different word to mean the same thing, but I think either way goals are better than resolutions. Also, I am not doing this because that is what you do at New Years, I am doing it because the holidays are over, life is settling down, and it just feels right!

So, what are my goals? Right now, my goals are to follow my beliefs behind this blog. To clarify this for myself, the following are my goals:

1) cook more healthy foods and to make more foods from scratch and try to be more sustainable in what we eat

2) make time to be creative

3) try to live as natural a lifestyle as possible

4) spend more time in direct play with my kids

5) get my stuff organized

6) hopefully start an etsy.com shop

7) try to learn more about the things I am interested in instead of just knowing a little bit of information!

I could and probably should be more specific. From my professional career, I know that goals are supposed to be written certain way and these are not. I need to refine them make them measurable and more specific, but for now, it will do. I have more time to get more specific. I may write another post about the goals when they are more clear, but for now this will do!

Amy

Holidays

2011-12-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

I was reading an old post on Tara Jon Manning's blog about a handmade holiday and it reminded me of my goal to make a decent amount of the gifts that I give this Christmas. So far the only thing I have made has been a partial advent calendar. I am not following through with my goals. I also want to try to use the materials I have on hand to create and not buy new things. Of course, if I need something to complete a project that would be a time to go out and buy mo, but only if there is no way around it. Christmas is less than 2 weeks away. I have a house to clean and projects to work on. I also Ned to get overly fear of people not liking what I make. I have this complex that people will think that handmade gifts area way to cheap out. Yes, it is cheaper sometimes to make things, but I think that when thought goes into a gift, that's all that should matter when receiving a gift. I should be more confident in what I make. I use good quality supplies. I use thought when I try to decide what I am going to make for someone. I try to be careful and do a really nice job with what I create. I am going to try to get over my fear of what people will think and still attempt to make some of my gifts, if possible.

This year, have probably spent too much money on the gifts we bought the kids, but we really tried hard to get them things that's they would really like and that were educational in some respect as well as fun. My goal this year was to not buy wasteful gifts just to have gifts or because they were cheap. I really want to try to make 1 gift for each of them. If they are the only ones that get handmade gifts, I will be completely thrilled. If i am able to make more than that, I will be even more excited!

Before I know it, the holidays will be over and it will be time for me to attempt an etsy shop. I am scared to death of failing, but if I never try, I won't succeed. I am scared of people laughing at me. Can you tell that I have major issues? I have tried to come up with a bunch of different etsy names, but ultimately, I decided on the basic Amy Fratto Design. A while ago, I actually started a blog Amy Fratto Designs at Wildflower Garden Studios. I may actually go back to that blog once I start actually posting on my etsy store, or even getting ready to post things. I don't necessarily want another blog, actually I stopped writing there and directed anyone that read it to this blog, but I am thinking that I want to start again.

Goals, goals, goals. Now to just follow through!

Wish me luck and put some good thoughts out to the universe or pray that I can follow through with my goals!

Amy

Jobs and Careers

2011-12-06T18:25:00.000-05:00

I keep thinking about returning to work. Not anytime soon, but I know that it will come soon enough. I so don't want to go back to work doing the same old boring mundane thing, yet I am so scared to branch out and try something new. I keep day dreaming about what I would what to do if I were given a choice with no holds barred. Would I really want to be a social worker? On some level, probably. I do like being a social worker. I do like the whole psych piece of things, but, that being said, I have so many other interests that I would love to do something else.

My biggest question is what would I ultimately like to do? I think I would love to do something with natural health. The problem is, I have all these beliefs, but I never follow through with them. We were over a family members house tonight and someone started talking about things and all I could think was "you are all talk. You don't actually follow all these things that you say that you believe." The problem is, neither do I. If I really did what I believed, I would be eating a total vegan diet, no meat, no diary. I would also not be eating any gluten related foods. I would be drinking my water kefir. I would be making non dairy milk kefir. I would be making more kombucha and using it. I would be using more natural cleansers. I would be studying more about herbs and essential oils. I would be studying more about art therapy. I would be creating. I would be learning more about spirituality. I would spend more time outside with the kids. I would not be watching tv. I would not be on Facebook all the time. I would not be checking my e-mails. I would be either doing more with blogging to help with what I believe in not just reading people's blogs. I would journal more, and by journaling, I mean literally writing on paper. I would learn more about set journaling. I would learn more about soul collage (which I actually learned about in grad school for social work, so I know that there are ways I can use more alternative means of therapy vs just literal talk therapy. It has been done. there is a precedent for this type of thing). I would be better organized. I would cook more. I wouldn't drive as much. I would take the kids for walks more. I would try to be more of a part of my community. I would attempt to do charity crafting and maybe try to make it a community affair! I would try to follow through with what I believe, not just spout off at the mouth, like i sometimes feel that I do!

That was one long paragraph to basically state that I think I have all these beliefs and I think I want to use them in my career, but if i am not following through in my own life, how can I make it a career. I guess, I need to take a look at what I want out of life and try to figure out how to get it. I have about another 3-4 years before I am back in the work force full time. I keep writing about these things because I am hopeful that if I put it down on paper, I can figure out how to make it happen.

I am going to finish up by saying that I am going to try to follow through with my beliefs. I am going to watch less tv. I am going to read more. I am going to research the things that I am interested in and see if I can figure out how to make it into a career. I am going to create more! I am going to continue to follow through on my beliefs such as using handmade items, beauty products (soap, toothpaste, deodorant, cream), household cleansers, etc. I am going to research about herbs and veggie gardening. I am going to journal in a notebook more. I am going to read and learn more about soul collaging, meditating, and yoga and how all this relates to social work. There are so many things I want to do. I am hoping that taking time to write all this down is going to be helpful.

Amy

Where Am I Going With My Life?

2011-11-29T10:56:00.001-05:00

I joined in with creativeeveryday.com to try to help force myself to make time to be creative every day. Overall, I did much better than I thought I would. I was able to work on more things than I actually posted, which I suppose makes sense. I would much rather be creative and not post than try to make time to post and not have as much time to be creative. I keep thinking that I am going to try to seel things I mark, but I haven't gone that way yet. I still have so much fear about failing, that I don't really try to peruse it. I really need to think about letting go of my fear of failure and go for it.

My latest sewing project for my 20th reunion. I hand sewed it quick to have something to bring, but now I need to machine sew it so it lasts better.

I also really need to think about what I am going to do when I go back to work. I still have plenty of time, but if I don't start thinking about it, I'll be needing to find a full time job and I won't necessarily be Doing something I really want to do. Will I ever be able to make a living doing something I love vs something I like? Will I be able to be creative in my work instead of just following regulations? There has to be a way to use my social work degree, my love of creating, and my love of handmade and natural things in my career choice!

I really need to focus on what I want my personal life to be and maybe then my professional life will follow. I need to start eating right. I need to start making time to be creative and maybe making time to sell thinks I make. I need to continue to live a handmade and natural life and increase or even start practicing certain things like yoga, meditation, vegan/vegetarian eating, etc.

I will keep the focus on figuring out where I want to go with my life and figure out how to make sure that I can maintain a great family, a house and maybe start a new professional career in time for when I go back to work in the next 3 or so years!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday:What do you wish to remember?

2011-11-23T08:31:00.000-05:00

There are so many things that I could write about, especially after reading so many people's posts. Things from my childhood, that my sisters can remember (Sometimes I have absolutely no memory), day to day things, not to get all worked up over nothing, to let things go, etc. I could go on and on, but what I really wish to remember is a dream I had one night. I'm not sure if it was the feeling while I was in the dream, the path that I took there, where I need up, but I keep thinking of that dream? Even last night while I was going to sleep, I tried to remember the dream and this dream happened quite a while ago! There is something that makes me want to remember, but there is so little that I remember, I can't even remember why I want to remember the dream!

As simple as this sounds, I really want to remember that dream!

Amy

AEDM 11/17/2011

2011-11-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

I am trying to be better and also in the same breath, trying to give myself a break when I don't find time or if I am just too tired to create. I am still working on the advent calendar, and may need to re-do some of the ornament that I started ( I think they are too small), which is a good thing since I was thinking I hate working with things this small. I also made a bracelet yesterday and really liked it, but again have to re-do it since I dropped the bracelet and one of the jasper stones broke. The other thing that I did was make my first ever gluten free pie! It came out ok and figures that my son I made it for has no interest in eating it. I am reading one of my jewelry books to get inspired to make some gifts, especially for the teachers in my kids lives. I am off now to play with my older son and maybe even create with him while the twins are taking their nap (or at least are having quiet time)!

My newest bracelet

Amy

AEDM 11/15/2011

2011-11-15T14:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm getting a little better at making time to create every day! I started cutting out the pattern for a fabric "paper" doll set for my daughter for Christmas. Once I cut the patterns out, I put it aside and decided that I need to start working on my Advent Calendar for Christmas. I need to have it done my December 1st, so that is what I really need to focus on. I am using this blog post as my inspiration http://www.acaseofthemundays.com/2010/12/felt-friday-felt-advent-calendars.html! I have my background and my tree on and I have started on the felt numbered boxes. I need to find 24 buttons, otherwise, I think I have everything I need to complete this project. I have a list of ornaments that I will be making to hang on the tree of the advent calendar. I have to sew on the boxes to put the ornaments in until it's time to hang them on the tree!

The background and the tree for the Advent Calendar

I still need to make a car cozy for one of my sons and I think I am going to make an art case for my older son! I want each child to have something handmade for Christmas. Last year they all got aprons. This year, they are going to each get something just for them! I also want to work with the kids to make gifts for special people in their lives, aunt's first cousins, godparents, and grandparents. It's time to start/maintain a handcrafted holiday and start making other traditions for our family!

Amy

Art Every Day 11/13/2011

2011-11-13T23:23:00.000-05:00

We are on day 13 of AEDM and I really have not been meeting my goal. this weekend I did try a new recipe and I started learning how to make CP (cold process) soap and decided that my first attempt at soap making will be hot process (HP) soap making. I have a few goals for this week. I need to start an advent calendar and I need to start it soon. I plan on using this blog post as my inspiration, httt://www.acaseofthemundays.com/2010/12/felt-friday-felt-advent-calendars.html. I need to research HP soap making and supplies. I need to start the projects that I plan to make for the kids' Christmas gifts.

It is really difficult to make time for being creative when you have a 3 1/2 year old and 2 3/4 year old twins, but I think that it is really important for me to make time to be creative. I cant't wait for Tuesday morning. I will have about 2 1/2 hours all to myself. If I can get my act together, I will work on ,y daughter's Christmas gift which will be a felt "paper" dolls set. I am really excited to make this. It will be hand sewn so I can bring it any where. I am also planning on making some felt food as well as some wooden carved food for the kids. I am really excited to make the kids a lot of their gifts.

And now for a confession. I mentioned that I am going to start focusing on jewelry making as my creative medium, but I have decided that it is just not in me to limit the mediums or the type of craft that I use to be creative. I would love to be one of those people who can just excell at one thing, but I am the type of person who likes to try all kids of crafts and crafting mediums! I love learning new things and ways to use different materials. Maybe I really do have ADHD especially creative ADHD! I just need to plan better! I have all sorts of ideas in my head to get more organized and have more time, but right now they are just not coming to fruition! All in due time, I guess!

For now, I am just gng to try to focus on being creative and not worry about anything other than making time to enjoy being creative!

Amy

Newest Swap

2011-11-09T13:53:00.003-05:00

I wasn't going to sign up for another swap, but I decided to participate in a Secret Santa Swap! I've done a couple of swaps with Shawnee at http://www.flirtyapronswap.blogswap.com. Shawnee has asked people to post answers to the following questions.

What are your hobbies? making jewelry and sewing
What are your favorite colors? right now I'm into more earthy colors
Do you collect anything? tea cups and craft supplies
Are you allergic to any fibers or animals? no
Do you have any pets? yes, an american eskimo dog named Takoda
Coffee, Tea, or Chocolate? Tea
What do you like to read? craft books, cookbooks, true stories
Do you prefer Cookies or Candies as a sweet? Candies
What is your favorite holiday treat? I don't know that I have one
Describe your favorite holiday tradition. being with family, seeing christmas lights
Did you believe in Santa as a child? yes
When do you open presents? We got to open one on Christmas eve before we went to bed and then the rest Christmas morning when my grandparents came over.
Do you put up a tree and when? If not, how do you celebrate? Usually the day after Thanksgiving, but that has changed since we have little kids
Does your tree have a theme? ornaments that I have been given over the years
What has been your favorite gift to give? to receive? to give: things I have made, to receive: My engagement ring

I can't believe that I am doing another swap, but I am pretty excited about it!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: Who do you wish to have tea with?

2011-11-09T08:32:00.002-05:00

It's Wednesday once again, and once again I am going in with Wishcasting Wednesday over at jamieridlersturdios.ca. this week Jamie asks "Who do you wish to have tea with?"

I contemplated skipping this week, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to join in. I read other people's post about who they ward to have tea with. Some had some amazingly famous people and some had some amazing important people in their lives i.e., their significant other and even themselves. It really made me think about who I would like to have tea with.

I could come up with some amazingly famous people, but as awesome as that would be, I think I would love to sit and enjoy a simple cup of tea with just my husband. With 3 little kids, 3 1/2 and under, it can be difficult to find time for just us. I would love to make it a huge deal and have a nice quiet, romantic time, where it is just the two of us, where we are not too tired to enjoy each others company, where we can just enjoy being together.

My husband and I are tea drinkers. For my birthday last year, I got an amazing cast iron tea set with dragon flies on it. It was really expensive and really nice quality. That being said, I don't use it nearly enough! I wish to get away from drinking the coffee that I stupidly started again and start really enjoying my tea. I wish to make time to use my tea set and enjoy a nice simple yet perfect cup of tea with one of the most important people in my life (the most important other than my children), my husband!

My tea set that I need to start using more often!

Amy

AEDM 11/8/2011

2011-11-08T10:42:00.000-05:00

I am sitting at Panera sans kiddies going through my old jewelry magazines trying to get rid of things. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am starting to get the feeling that I really need to get back to making jewelry. As much as I love all things crafty and creative, I am thinking making jewelry may be the way to go. Granted, there are lots of different mediums that I love that I can use in jewelry making, which is a good thing. I think I am realizing that I need to focus on jewelry and start getting more proficient in different things related to making jewelry. This may be the first time that I have recognized wanting to focus on one creative area. I can and will learn more about glass fusing, lamp working, using polymer clay and ceramic clay in my jewelry making, using wire, using paper, and Im sure there are other things that I want to learn, but I am going to focus more on learning these things in relation to making jewelry.

I have a number of things to make that are not jewelry related, but once they are completed, I am absolutely going to focus on making jewelry. My new goal is going to be to become proficient in things related to making jewelry instead of trying to always learn new things without really fully learning and becoming proficient in one thing.

So, I may actually make something today, like sew my mother's Christmas gift, or I may just use this time of reflection and motivation as my AEDM post. The nice thing about going through old magazines, at least for me, is that I get motivated and then I get creative. I hope that I can use this motivation to move forward and actually complete goals!

Amy

AEDM (art every day month) 11/7/2011

2011-11-07T16:12:00.000-05:00

So I am not doing all that great with my goal of being creative every day and definitely not doing great with writing about it. I am pushing forward with attempting to be creative every day. I have been cooking, and yesterday I made honey mustard chicken which were awesome, my favorite easy recipe!

Today, I decided to get the kids involved. My 3 1/2 year old and one of my 2 1/2 year old twins used some fabric crayons and colored and I ironed their creations onto some plain unbleached muslin. I need more colorings to make more fabric for the lining of a bag that I am planning on making for my mom for Christmas. I need something from my other twin and more from the other 2 kids so that I have enough material for the lining. I think this will make the bag even more special! I decided to cut out the pattern this afternoon and maybe I'll even pull out the sewing machine tonight or maybe I'll come home tomorrow while everyone is at school and sew or maybe during nap time. Maybe I can finish it this week and have a gift or at least a partial gift finished!

Happy Creating!

Amy

AEDM (art every day month)

2011-11-03T21:13:00.000-04:00

I decided to join in with art every day month at http://creativeeveryday.com/. This will hopefully help me follow through with what I wrote about yesterday, nourishing my soul with my creativity. Every day for the month of November, I will be attempting to do something creative. It may not be a finished project, but it will definitely be the start of something, or it just may be creating a new recipe for dinner. I was supposed to start November 1st, but I ended up getting sick and had literally no energy to even think about creating until today, and today, I was pretty good!

During nap time, I attempted soldering. For my first time, it came out pretty good. Of course, I can't find what I did to take a picture of, but I hopefully saved two beads that were broken. Then later this afternoon, while we were outside, I decided to start carving one of my Christmas gifts for the kids. I decided to try out this tutorial, http://www.duofiberworks.com/journal/2011/8/2/carving-play-food-tutorial-cutting-board-and-knife-cutting-f.html. I still have a lot to finish, and I really want to do more wood carving, but I really enjoyed it.

I have wanted to carve for a long time, since I was a little kid, probably 30 years ago. I bought carving tools probably about 5 years ago, then I got into grad school, then I got married, then I had my first son, then I had twins. I've been pretty busy and haven't done any carving since I bought my tools. Now that I have kids, I have the perfect reason to start, Christmas gifts. Duo Fiberworks has a number of food tutorials that I want to attempt and then there are links for other food tutorials that I will be attempting. Probably a lot, ok pretty much all of what I write will be about Christmas gifts. After Christmas, I am hoping to work on building a supply so that I can sell on etsy.com at my page PixieWindow, but I haven't had a chance to post anything. I am hoping to also maybe try a craft fair!

Here's my first attempt at carving in process:

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: How Do You Wish To Nourish Yourself?

2011-11-02T09:06:00.001-04:00

It's Wednesday once again and time for Wishcasting Wednesday! This week, Jamie at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca, asks:

"How Do You Wish To Nourish Yourself?"

I love Wednesday's and so look forward to the promts. Every week, each question becomes something that is really important for me to ask myself. This week, I can answer very literally and also from a more spiritual way. I literally, want to nourish myself with foods that make me feel good and that are healthy for me. After Halloween and also just in general, I tend to eat foods that taste good, but that don't have much value to it. I know what and how I need to eat, I just need to do it!

From a spiritual perspective, I need to nourish myself by relaxing and doing things that I enjoy, but actually make sure that I take the time to enjoy the moment. I love to be creative, but sometimes, I tend to not give myself enough time and then being creative become a chore and a hassle. For example, I want to make a lot of Christmas gifts. I know that I want to make things, but I need to make sure that I leave enough time and not try to do too much with the time that I have. Being creative is no longer nourishing when I am stressed about the outcome. I have joined in with creative everyday.com for creative every day month. I am hoping that the month of November will be enjoyable for me to create, since I will hopefully do a little every day instead of trying to get it all down at once. Creative every day month started yesterday, but I have been sick so I haven't started yet. I am hoping to get to do something creative when the kids are in for their naps.

I wish to nourish my body by eating what is good for me and actually enjoy it, and I wish to nourish my soul by being creative without stressing about the outcome!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Let Go Of?

2011-10-26T08:17:00.001-04:00

It's Wednesday again and I am once again joining in with Jamie Ridler at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca. This week Jamie asks, "What do you wish to let go of?"

As usual, Jamie's prompts are so timely. Yesterday, I wrote about my fears and insecurities about starting my own handcrafted gifts business. I have so many fears and insecurities in life, I just wish I could let go of them and just be secure in myself and in my abilities.

It's kind of funny how some of these wishes all fit together. For me, last weeks wish about being loved and this weeks wish about letting go, go together. I think if I could love myself unconditionally, I could let go of my insecurities and my fears. On the flip side, if I could let go of fears and insecurities, maybe I could love myself unconditionally.

Maybe, if I let go of my fears and insecurities, I would take more chances in general. I would talk to people more often and maybe make more friends, rather than just a few acquaintances that I have.

My fears and insecurities have always help me back! It's time to let go and I guess to quote AA, let God, or what one perceives to be God.

Amy

Creativity and Fear!

2011-10-25T14:03:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking more and more about creating things and selling them. I really love being creative and feel so relaxed and just plain and simply enjoy myself. I keep putting off the selling piece, mainly because of my fear. I am always afraid of failing, of people looking at what I make and thinking that there is no way that they would even consider buying anything that i could make because it is not good enough to sell. I am afraid people will laugh at me for even considering something like this. I am trying to get a plan in place to start so that I don't waste my time and money. Thankfully, I have a ton of supplies so I don't have to dish out a ton of money to start up creating.

I have been trying to come up with a name that will be creative and also say something about me or what I create. Part of the problem is that there is just so many areas of creativity that I love, I can't decide where to focus what I would make. Part of me just wants to focus on accessories and small thoughtful gifts, but I don't want to box myself into a specific medium. That may be a mistake, but maybe not, as long as I make sure that what I create follows some sort of theme, such as accessories and small gifts.

I have been thinking about a name for my "company" for a long time now, and I just can't think of something really creative. I have tried to think of things in my life that I love. I have loved rainbows, mythology, and fairies , and dragonflies, and butterflies, and nature. I love kind of more bohemian style. I am finding that I love rich, deep, earthy, colors. I guess I'm just throwing out ideas for me to have them written down so that I can come back and seeing if anything strikes me.

I would love to start with selling my creations, maybe move on to classes and parties, and then when I have time and maybe money get certified as an art therapist. As is my brain, this post is very haphazard and kind of all over the place. At this point, I need to write down my thoughts, maybe have others comment on them, and then maybe I can come back and read my thoughts and come up with ideas.

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to make time for?

2011-10-19T12:12:00.000-04:00

This is such a loaded question. Jamie, over at jamieridlerstudios.ca, asks, "What do you wish to make time for?"

There are so many things that I need to make time for. I need to make time to pursue my dreams, organize my life, spending time with my husband with no one to interrupt us, getting my chores on track (especially laundry), time for exercise and meditation, creating, etc. Part of me thinks that there is just not enough time for all the things that I want to do, but then there is another part of me that says I just need to lower my expectations and make time, even if it is just a small amount of time. Sometimes I think that I expect everything to be perfect and then I don't do anything, because I know it won't be perfect. Sometimes I think I sabotage myself with my expectations.

I wish to make time for all the things that I want/need out of life, just with lowered expectations. I also wish to make time to figure out who I really am and what I really want out of life (which is pretty obscure and why I wrote down some of the concrete things that I know I need and want to make time for).

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: How Do You Wish To Be Loved?

2011-10-12T13:23:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday once again and Jamie over at jamieridlerstudios.ca asks, "How Do You Wish To Be Loved?"

This week's question is actually really difficult for me to write about, which probably means I really need to write about it. I am extremely lucky with love. I have a great family, both my own and my in-laws. We have our ups and downs, just like pretty much everyone, but we are always there for each other. I have a fabulous husband who absolutely loves me unconditionally and I have 3 beautiful children who also love me unconditionally (even though as I sit here and write, my daughter screams because she is at the point of fighting her naps, but truly needs them!).

How do I wish to be loved? I wish to love myself unconditionally. I have a feeling that this is something most people struggle with, but it is something I really need to work on. What more can I say about this except that I have to try to remember to be good to myself and not be so critical about myself!

I wish to love me!

Amy

I am sure that I could be more descriptive with this post, but I am not sure that i am really ready to write about everything. I just really need to stop being critical about myself, be happy with who I am, and truly love me!

Making Time!

2011-10-12T07:35:00.000-04:00

I'm still trying to figure out what window opened after I lost my job. Granted it was only a part time job, but it brought in enough money to make life a little easier. Now, we don't have that extra income, but I am home for dinner and hopefully to make life a little easier from a functional stand point. I am trying to ask the universe to wither give me another opportunity that is the same time wise, or to give me a knew opportunity to take advantage of this break in work.

I am trying to make time to be creative. I am hoping that I can make some Christmas gifts, and that in the process, I can hone my skills so that I can maybe sell things. I keep thinking about what my dreams and passions are, and how I can make them a reality. Do I really want to create and sell? Do I want to just hold classes and teach crafts? If that is the case, I really have to hone my skills and learn how to teach. I would also have to learn how to market myself. I think in reality, I would love to teach classes, or have something more like open studio time or simple craft parties where people get together and create while spending some quality time with each other and/or learning how to use creativity for stress relief.

In either case, I really need to make time to create. I need to create for my own sanity and stress relief. I need to create to hone my skills and really be sure that what I do is worth giving as a gift and worth selling. I need to create to actually make things to sell. I really need to spend some time getting creative!

The other thing that I really need to make time for is my health. I have been really bad with my diet. Have I spent time eating the way I should? No! Have I really taken the time to eat healthy? Some what but not really where I should be. Have I spent time planning out our meals so that I know what we are eating, so I know we are eating healthy, so I am spending money wisely? I have been better, but not as good as I should be! I really need to plan my meals and really work on making food that is enjoyable to eat, healthy, and cost effective! I really want to learn more about herbs and essential oils and how to make beauty products that will help me and not cause problems due to different additives.

All of this means that I really need to prioritize my time so that I can hopefully take advantage of any window that opens (as well as taking care of my responsibilities), now that the door has shut!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to do one day?

2011-10-05T08:26:00.001-04:00

Joining in again for Wishcasting Wednesday! This week, over at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca, Jamie asks "What do you wish to do one day?"

As usual, Jamie asks things that I am usually thinking about. This weeks question is pretty pertinent in my life right now. Last Wednesday, I went to work only to find out that I got laid off. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me in the 20 years since I have been out of high school. I am a social worker and really believed that I was safe from cuts like this.

Even though this was only a part time job, it made a huge difference to my family. I am trying to think of things in a more positive light! I am able to get to be home for dinner with my family. I am able to not have to feel rushed getting things ready for when my husband comes home. I am able to get unemployment so I can actually have some income coming in to help with our finances!

The other positive thing that I am trying to think about truly relates to this week's prompt. I am trying to decide just what it is that I really want to do with my life! I have a great husband and three great kids, but what do I want to do with my professional life? How can I use my education in a more out of the box way? I am thinking that I really do want to do something with art therapy, or even do something less clinical, but still something related to art/creating and how it can be therapeutic. I've written about this before, and I still think that this is something that I really want to do one day. I would love to be part of a community that truly believes in the mind/body/spirit, not just one area. I think that my social work career and my love of creating can be mixed to truly help care for ones mind, body and spirit. I would love to be my own boss one day and again be part of a community that truly looks at the whole person, not just parts of a person! Oh, and I want to learn to use herbs and aroma therapy as part of my career too! I think herbs, essential oils and creativity can all work together to help someone have a more balanced life!

What do you wish to do one day?
Amy

What To Do Next?

2011-10-04T10:19:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday, I was a told that my part time position of 15 hours had been cut from the budget. Needless to say, it feels very strange not to go to work. It's also a little disconcerting not to have an income coming in. I will be applying for unemployment, the first time ever, but it still feels weird. I posted on Facebook that I was laid off and one of my friends mentioned asking the universe for the same set up "ask and you shall receive". I honestly thought about that before she even commented about it. The other thing I thought about in the same vein is, maybe I should thing about doing something more creative. Maybe my unemployment checks will help to feed my family while I start working on a more creative endeavor than social work. The other ironic thing with regards to this is another Facebook comment from my husband's cousin. I have made a few new bags and am really enjoying sewing and posted a picture of a cute quick envelope clutch that I made for my husband's reunion. The comment was that I should make more and sell them. Maybe that is the next step I should be taking. Could the lay off be a blessing in disguise?

I have been wanting to open an etsy shop for a while. A bunch of friends either have one or have recently opened one. Is this the time now for me? I am so scared that it will fail, but what if it doesn't? What if I can find a good niche to get into? I have been wondering if a good niche would be the fusion of recycle/up-cycled and natural materials with new synthetic materials. First it would go with the whole trying to be green in my life, then using recycled materials would hopefully be cost effective, and given the whole push for others to go green, just maybe this would be a decent niche. It would also be the fusion of old and new. Should I look at another areanof creativity? Is this crazy on my part?

I am reall seriously considering doing this as well as doing craft fairs. I would love to have a partner in all of this, but I'm not sure who. Maybe having a partner is a bad idea. I guess I really need to make a decision and just go for it if I decide that I really want to do this! So as my Facebook friend said "just put it out to the universe, ask and you will receive!"

I am asking "should I use this time to try to follow one of my dreams and see if I can help to provide for my family using my creativity?"

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday once again and once again I am joining in with Jamie over at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca where she asks, "What do you wish for fall?"

My wish for fall is to fully enjoy the season. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! I love the weather! What I don't love is the weather that comes after, "WINTER". With 3 small kids, winter can be a time when I feel extremely forced to stay in the house. Living in New England, you never know what the weather will bring. It could be a mild winter, or it could be a horribly cold and snowy and icy winter and my mood is worse when I don't get to enjoy being outside! I hope that I can focus on pumpkins, apples, crisp cool sunny weather, Halloween and not focus on the coming winter. Also, as some people have mentioned to me, fall can be thought of as a new year , almost like celebrating New Years in January. I find the fall weather to be refreshing and renewing so I hope that I can enjoy being creative and following my passions and being true to myself!

Amy

Newest Projects

2011-09-27T19:06:00.001-04:00

My friend Liz over at http://www.goddessinprogressblog.com/quilts/ posted a fun bag she made from http://www.make-baby-stuff.com/free-diaper-bag-pattern.html. I couldn't wait to make this bag and I finally pulled out a bench of material to make it. I love that I used some material that I had bought before my wedding (shhhhh, don't tell anyone, I was supposed to make bridesmaids gifts that never happened). I Love how it came out! I can't wait to make another one. I probably have enough material at home but not the interfacing (which I didn't use for my first bag).

Sewing this bag re-ignited my passions for sewing and any other craft related item. I just joined in a table runner swap over at http://flirtyapronswap.blogspot.com/. I am so excited! I love aprons, but I love that this is a table runner swap. We are in the process of making some small renovations to our kitchen so this will be a nice addition to the kitchen! I missed out on the last swap since it was during the summer. I just figured that there wouldn't be enough time to sew it and get it out in the mail, but with school back in session, I think this will work, plus I am trying to tell my husband that we both need to make time for our hobbies (he needs to get back into his wood shop), but we are just so tired by the time the kids go to bed!

I have so many projects that I want to do. I really need to start working on the kids Halloween costumes. I can't wait to make them, but I am not looking forward to cutting and sewing satin material. I probably shouldn't complain, but I hate the slipperiness of the material. After that, I really need to start on my Christmas gifts. I am really hoping to make a lot of our gifts this year, partly for financial reasons, but also partly because I love it. I am really finding that I need to make time for my creativity and I hope that I can really make a point to do what I love!

Amy

Living The Life I Want

2011-09-22T19:12:00.000-04:00

This week, I missed out on wishcasting Wednesday. This week the question was, "What do you wish to immerse yourself in?". As I sit here and type, I am thinking about that question. Even though I missed writing about my wish on Wednesday, there is no reason why I still can't write about it today! I love Wishcasting Wednesday, because it makes me sit and really think. I get a chance to sit and write down my wishes instead of just keeping them to myself.

My answer this week is, "I wish to immerse myself in my passions!". The question is how do I do that? I have 3 kids and we have enough money to live, but not enough extra to play with. The good thing is, that over time, I think my passions may save us money, I just have to find the time to learn. My passion is what this blog is all about, living a handmade and natural life. I am starting to cook more instead of going out to eat, I am trying to use the crafting supplies I have instead of buying new, I am trying to make a lot of my own health and beauty products. I want and need to learn more though! I want to learn more about aromatherapy, herbs, natural beauty products, gardening, crafting responsibly, cooking good healthy food that tastes good also.

My newest thing I want to learn is soap making. I need to get a good simple tutorial with a list of the basic supplies I need. I don't have a ton of extra money to spend, but we are spending a lot on buying good soap so I know in the end it will be worth it. I also have to stop worrying about making it. Someone told me that it can be dangerous so I should do it with someone who knows what they are doing. That has me a little worried, but I am sure that I can do it fine, as long as I take my time and read directions carefully (good directions). I have been making cream with essential oils, now it is time to move on to bigger and better. I just need to learn more about waht essesntial oils are good for certain things. Time to pull out the books!

Any thoughts on good resources for herbs, aromatherapy, etc?

Amy

Projects That I Need To Start!

2011-09-16T14:00:00.000-04:00

I have a couple of capes that I need to sew. I found a link to the the capes (http://www.georgialeigh.com/?p=57) at my friends blog http://www.goddessinprogressblog.com/quilts/. My son Thomas is thrilled when we help him "fly" and he says superman. I decided to make all 3 kids the same cape so that there wouldn't be any fights over them. They love "Super Why" on sprout so I decided that I will be making the super why applique for the back of the cape. This seems like such a simple project, that even though I have other projects to make, I am going to start with the capes.

The next project I need to work on are the Halloween costumes. I think they will be somewhat easy, but maybe time consuming, so I really need to start soon. I have all or at least most of the material to start cutting. I am hoping that I can get my serger to have the right tension since I think it will make a nicer product. The kids are going to be a maiden and squire. I am also hoping to get to King Richard's Faire this year and I would love for them to be able to wear a costume to the fair.

I also have a bunch of projects to start for Christmas. The most important projects are for the kids, then my husband and then my mom. There are quilts to make, toys to make, maybe even jewelry to make, maybe some knitting or crocheting, never mind the potential of making my own Christmas cards. I haven't been very good at making time to complete projects. I feel so much better when I do, but for some reason, I have just been finding anything and everything else to do. I am hoping that with have a routine back, I will be able to get myself into a routine with laundry, house cleaning, kids, and time to create as well as making time to sleep.

I have a lot on my plate, but I am really going to try to find time to create. I should plan some take along projects so that when I am at work and it is slow, I can be productive vs just sitting on the computer. I am thinking that knitting and crochet projects are good projects to take along to work as well as maybe some small hand sewing projects!

A little ambitious, but I am really looking forward to this.
Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday and CTWW

2011-09-14T08:04:00.000-04:00

I love Wednesdays for blogging, at least on this blog. On Wednesdays, I love to see what Jamie over at http://jamieridlerstudios.ca and what http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com prompt me to think about.

This week Jamie asks: "What guidance do you wish for?" As usual, Jamie's question follows right along with things that I have been thinking about. For me, I wish for guidance in following my dreams and my passions. I know what my dreams and my passions are, at least I think I do, but I think I need guidance on how to follow though with them. How do I make them them a part of my life instead of just a dream in my mind? Is it possible to take them and make them something I could make a living at and if so, how do I do it? How do I follow my dreams and my passions and not give up on my social work profession? How do I follow my dreams and passions and afford to do it? I guess these are just a few of the questions that I wish for guidance on.

Last week, for change the world Wednesday, I wrote about reducing my waste. I guess on some level I made a pretty huge goal for myself. One of the things that I have to remember in my life is that I can take small steps to get to the large goal I have, I don't have to leap to the large goal right away. I have done better this past week with making my own tea and bringing food for lunch, but I have not been perfect. I still need to get better at planning and making sure that I have food in the house to make dinner and that I actually make dinner. I also need to get better at packing my dinner for work and using up leftovers. I have been better this week, but not where I was hoping to be. I also want to do better at not buying my coffee or my tea out. A lot of my goals will help reduce waste and also help my finances, a win win situation. As I wrote above I want guidance in following my passions. One of my passions is living a greener more natural life and that includes reducing waste. So, this is a goal that I will be continuing with and hopefully as time moves on, the small changes I make will lead up to the large goal I have.

This week, reduce footprints asks us to look at our fridge and see what we can do to make sure that it operates efficiently. There are lots of suggestions that they have and I plan to follow through checking out my fridge. One of the suggestions is to change the gasket. I know that we have replaced it recently, but I will double check to see that it is still working right. I will plan to write an update of how things go after I follow reduce footprints suggestions.

Amy

Change The World Wednesday (a day late)

2011-09-08T18:05:00.000-04:00

This weeks challenge is a really appropriate challenge for me. Zero Waste Week 2011 started September 5th and the goal over at http://myzerowaste.com/ is how can I reduce my waste away from from home. This challenge is really appropriate since I have been rediculously horrible about eating out, wasting food, and buying coffee/tea out. When I look in my recycling bin, and the fact that I recycle is the only saving grace for me, I cringe when I see how many plastic cups are in there. That means I have wasted a ton of money by buying coffee/tea out instead of making it at home and I am using way too many plastic containers. I have tried to make this change earlier in the summer, but I haven't really succeeded. My new goal is to either make my drinks at home or at least being a reusable mug with me instead of using a "disposable" cup/mug. I have also been buying too much soda and since I want not only reduce my soda intake, but actually eliminate it, I will make sure that I bring at least one of my many water bottles that I fill at home from our filtered water system. I will also make sure that I continue to buy healthy frozen juice concentrate for the kids to help reduce plastic waste. I have been horrible about eating out also. This means that I use disposable products more than someone who eats home more often. I will be planning better so that I don't feel like I have to eat out because I don't have a meal planned, there by reducing my waste and saving money.

Since the above goals will take some planning on my part, I will be forced, in a good way, to plan my meals and my liquids so that I don't feel the need to stop at a store/take out place to get either food or drink. I will be forced to plan my grocery list there by saving money, eating healthier, and hopefully reducing my food waste. I am totally guilty of buying food that I forget about and then have to throw it away because it has gone bad.

I am hoping that these zero waste week 2011 goals will not only help reduce waste, but increase my wallet and help to make me healthier. Hopefully is will also help with my stress since i will have my meal planning done and I will be saving money as well as helping the earth!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Path Do You Wish to Follow?

2011-09-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've participated in Wishcasting Wednesday! This week Jamie asks: What Path Do You Wish to Follow?

It's always interesting to reading Jamie's prompts. I feel like I am always trying to find my path. One of my favorite poems is Robert Frost's Road Not Taken. If I look back, I have accomplished most of my dreams. I have a graduate degree in social work. I have a family. I have a house. I have a great life. What is missing? As much as I love being a social worker, I want to do more than just traditional social work. I want to do art therapy. I want to learn about herbal medicine. I want to learn about aromatherapy. I want to learn about nutrition. I want to learn about yoga, tai chi, qi gong and other modalities like this. I want to use my social work degree to truly treat the mind, body and spirit.

I guess the path I want to follow is treating my own mind, body and spirit as well as my family's, and then move on to treating others! I want to take the road less travelled and do more with the alternative realm of healing than the traditional road.

Thanks Jamie for letting me get this down in words instead of just in my head!

Amy

What's New?

2011-08-25T19:18:00.000-04:00

As summer comes to a crashing end, I am sitting here thinking about all that I didn't do. We started a garden last year and had pretty good results. This year, it seems as if we did nothing outside. I don't know what we did or why we didn't spend time in the garden. I think part of it is that we walked 4 miles almost every day, Michael was in preschool the month of July, we tried to spend time as a family, and probably the biggest issue was the crazy anount of mosquitos that we had in our yard. Oh, and child illnesses, including Lyme Disease for Miss Eva Rose.

When I think about our garden, I am kind of diappointed. We did get a ton of tomatoes, but we also got some sort of blight/fungus that is killing them now. I am trying to save as many tomatoes as I can so that we can enjoy some garden fresh tomatoes. We did have a decent amount of cucumbers, which we didn't have last year. My carrots are finally at a point where they can be eaten, albeit small. the best part about the carrots is that they came from seeds as did the beets and the radishes. My next step is to pull up all the lettuce, spinich, peas, and other things that are no longer doing well, and plant a second crop of cold weather veggies, like more peas, carrots, beets, greens, etc.

I still have lots of projects to work on. I started a scarf for one of my sisters. Hopefully it will be something she likes and something useful. She is going to be a sophmore at UMASS Amherst and will be working in the barn (I think) and I am hoping that it will be warm and useful for her as well as something that she will like. I have a few other knit gifts as well as sewing gifts planned. I am hopeful that I can actually get a schedule going so that I can complete some of my projects!

I know it is still August, but it is the end of August. I am trying to plan for the winter months so that I can feel productive and enjoy the time in the house vs being able to go out. I want to use my tiem to create, plan my garden for next year, learn more about herbs and aromatherapy, and maybe even kick start an etsy.com shop. We'll see how things work, but I definitely don't want this winter to be an unproductive season, nor do I want to hate winter. I need to find a way to make winter more fun and enjoyable.

Amy

Selling What I Make?

2011-08-22T19:27:00.000-04:00

I have long thought about selling things I make. I think I would really enjoy making money, even just a little, from something I created. Then my fears step in, my anxieties, my doubt. Am I good enough? Are the things that I make good enough quality to sell people? Is anyone interested? Are there too many people doing the same thing that I am doing. Will I be a total failure, a total flop?

Yes, I have major self doubts, some that are real and some that are probably more in my mind than anything else. Yes, I need to make sure that what ever I make, there is a calling for. I often go to craft fairs for multiple reasons, one of them being to scope out what others are selling. There are so many jewelers out there. There are so many people doing all the things that I like to do. I haven't found my niche yet, and I don't know if I am able to think outside the box enough to create my own little niche.

I have a couple of friends that sell on etsy.com and I am really interested in doing something like this. I just e-mailed a friend that is jsut starting her own shop. She got me interested again instead of just thinking about is a side thought. How nice would it be to actually make money doing something you love? Granted, I am totally aware that what you love may end up being what you despise when it becomes your job, but I really want to do something I love, not just something I like. Is this it? I don't know, but I'm not sure that I should discount that this may be something I would enjoy, maybe just a little side thing to enjoy and make a little money at the same time.

My next goal is to find my little niche. What will it be? I can only hope to figure out! I really need to find something that I will enjoy yet something that is different and something that attracts people to want to buy things.

Amy

Christmas

2011-08-15T19:15:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it's still August and Christmas is far away, but I always put off my Christmas list until the last minute and then I never have any time to make people things like I want to. I am not wishing away summer, but I know how time flies and I know that I need to start planning so that a) I know what I want to make people, b) I can afford it, and c) I have the time to complete all I want to make!

When I started this blog, I had a goal of not going to big department stores, but shopping at smaller local stores and trying to make my own things, from food, to clothing, to gifts, etc. I haven't really been able to really follow through with that goal, but it still remains a goal. One thing I really would like to do, which would essentially be a huge help to meeting the goal of making my own things, is to have a work station where I could leave things set up, like my sewing machine or a jewelry project, or anything else that I was working on. Once my brother in law leaves, which will hopefully be soon (we can all hope), I hope to move some things in the basement and get a work station set up so that I can leave my sewing machine set up, have an area to work on jewelry projects, maybe even scrapbooking/paper crafts, or even my aromatherapy stuff. I have most of my supplies organized, just no place to actually work!

Once I finish this post, I am going to start my Christmas list so that I can hopefully plan out what I want to make people and have goals set to finish projects. My first priority is my husband and my kids. I have been wanting to make a picture quilt for my husband for a long time now. I have bought some material and even the special material to put through a printer to print the pictures on. I think I have even printed some old pictures from before we were married ( I had printed them before we were married, that's how long I have wanted to do this). I also want to make all 3 kids something special from me that I have made. I would like to make this an annual tradition. My absolute favorite gifts/cards are things that my husband has made me and I want my kids to treasure things that are handmade and mean something not just some thing that was bought at a store and made in China. I also want to make special things for special people in my life.

I am really hoping that I can plan things out so that I can get projects completed in time for Christmas. It will really feel good to give handmade special gifts that will hopefully mean more than jsut something I picked out from the store, especially since I really enjoy making things. Hopefully I can also get a spot to work out of so that I can be a little more productive!

Amy

Organizing

2011-08-11T18:51:00.000-04:00

I've been talking a lot about getting myself organized. Well, I finally attempted it today! I feel a little guilty since I spent time cleaning and organizing most of the day letting the kids watch a hefty dose of Caillou. The guilt that I feel about letting the kids watch tv definitely competes with the satisfaction of putting together and organizing my crafts. I still have a ton to do, and a ton to clean out and donate (which I so don't want to do because I love each and every supply that I have bought for the different crafts that I love) since I no longer have any room for everything I now own.

The first thing I started with is organizing my material and my yarn. Holy craft supplies, do I have a ton of yarn and a decent supply of fabric. Right now I have my yarn sorted by fiber content. I have a couple of small boxes of cotton yarn separated between color and neutrals. I have a large and medium size bin of yarns that are mostly synthetic, and a large bin of yarn that is mostly 100% wool with some blends thrown in. All bins have more than one project in the works in them, plus I have a decorative bin in the living room with projects in it Now I can go into each bin and know what I have for yarn in what type of fiber content instead of trying to find it all mixed in together.

My material has been organized by either fabric content, color, fat quarter, or pattern ie holiday, child, etc. I have a decent amount of fabric that has mostly been bought for different potential quilts. I have a couple bins that have material set aside for different possible projects that have been planned, but not started. I have a bin of patterns, plus a bunch of patterns that are in my closet, and a couple by my bed. I have my box of thread and notions all together, but I'm sure that there is more sewing stuff that needs to get organized. I do have a decent bag of material and yarn that I am going to donate. Now that I think about it, I should probably keep a large piece of blue striped fleece and give away the ugly green fleece that I bought for some unknown reason.

I still ahve the rest of my craft supplies to go through. I have a ton of rubber stamps and paper crafting supplies. I loave to make cards and scrapbook, but I just don't have the time. It is going to be really difficult to get rid of some of the things that I will be purging. I may call a friend and see if there is anything that she wants when I decide to get rid of things, if I can bring myself to do it! I also have my jewelry making supplies that I should go through and see if there are any beads that I can't see myself ever using. I doubt it as I am usually pretty picky on what beads I buy. Maybe if I can get my supplies in order, I can start making things again. Maybe if I can get a spot cleared out, I can start a project and leave it up, instead of having to always clean everything up and then having to take the time to take it out again and clean up again!

My goal is to set aside and area of the basement for a small table or desk. I am hoping my brother in law leaves soon since he is staying in our basement and making it more difficult to actually be able to get down there and craft. Even my husband doesn't feel like he can get into his woodshop and do things. I am hoping to move a drop leaf table that we have to another area for folding clothes, I am hoping that it will open up an area to have a desk or table or even a make your own desk out of a countertop and file cabinets to set up my sewing machine, and have space to do my paper crafting and jewelry. maybe then I can also think about selling some of the things that I make if I have a space to set up and do some nice work.

I still have many supplies that I don't have room for, but will not be getting rid of. I have a small kiln, that had bought for glass fusing and other light projects. I have all my wood working supplies including my carving tools and my lathe. I can't believe that I haven't touched any of that since probably before I was in grad school. I am looking forward to have some time to create and if I can get organized, maybe then I will be a little more able to create more often!

I do still have the rest of the house to organize, but this was a huge start and really needed to be done so that I can get to the other areas of the house. I think the next area is going through the kids toys. I have a few that I am getting rid of, but I'm sure that there are more that I can either get rid of or put away and pull out later after I swap out other toys! I also did semi organize the kitchen, but again, I need to do more. I am also going to get better at planning my menu for the week and sticking too it. I have been menu planning , but the problem is I don't always follow it. I am giving myself a pat on the back for starting to get organized, but there is still so much to do and then maintain!

Amy

Organizing

2011-07-27T18:19:00.000-04:00

I know that there are a lot of times that I tend to repetitively write about the same thing over and over and over, or at least that is how it feels to me. Here I am again writing about organization and my lack there of. I really need to go through my kids' toys and get them organized so that I can feel like my house is not full of toys. On the other hand, I really need to get my craft supplies organized so that I know what I have and figure out if there are things that I either have double of (because I was not organized) or if there are things that I can get rid of. I am really getting tired of feeling stressed because I am so unorganized! Also, maybe, just maybe if things are organized, then I will find time to be creative and enjoy my craft supplies.

The other area that I need to get organized in is meal planning. Actually after I write this post, I am off to plan for the next week. I really need to plan what I am going to eat and what I will eat when I have certain cravings, since I really need and want to get my eating under control. I talked to my husband about some of these things today and we decided that I just need to do it. I can't keep putting it of, rationalizing it, or making excuses. It is hard without a set schedule like we have during the school year, but I guess I just need to put a schedule together for myself and plan my meals and go grocery shopping around the foods that I need to be eating.

If I can get myself organized, I am sure that I will have more time for other things and I am absolutely sure that I will be way less stressed. I am hoping that if I get my eating under control that will help me with some of the procrastination that I am having since I think the foods that I am eating are making me feel less motivated and almost spacey. What I need to do is just do what I know needs to be done and know that I may need to work a lot harder at it than some people who are just naturally organized and neat.

I know what I need to do, how I need to do it, but now I just need to actually follow through and do it!

Amy

What Do I Need To Do?

2011-07-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

I have all these ideas and thoughts, but the follow through isn't always there. With summer being here and my husband being home and Michael in school for the month of July, we have taken advantage of just having 2 kids to take out for our daily walks and have gone for a 4 mile walk usually about 3-4 days a week. We have also attempted to spend a lot of time with the kids playing outside and maybe even getting some gardening done. What we haven't really had is a set formal schedule other than Michael's school. What this has done for me, is to take away some structure that I had and now I haven't gone and done a normal grocery shopping, made a normal meal plan, cooked dinner, cleaned house, done laundry, made time for creating, gone to any farmer's markets. This means, my goals of being organized, eating healthy, being creative, etc have all gone by the wayside. Also, we have my brother in law staying with us, and as much as it's not his fault, it has really either caused some planning issues or at least given me a way to rationalize (albeit an abnormal rationale) why I am not getting things done.

One of the reasons that I like writing this blog, is that it helps to keep my head a little more clear about what my goals are. I may not always follow through with them, but at least I am thinking and writing and hopefully following some of them. To give myself some credit, I have been exercising. I have made some better meal choices, though not always great. I have started making water kefir and milk kefir, though I am feeling like I am getting behind in that area as well. I have been having some green smoothies, though I really want to have more. I really want to start menu planning again. For some reason, having my husband home has made me lazy in this area. I need to get back on track.

Long and Short Term Goals?:

plan my meals for the week
have a green smoothie every day
exercise
be creative
cook/eat at home versus eating crappy unhealthy food out
continue to read more about aromatherapy and herbs
continue to research nutrition and healthy diet
reasearch and get new recipes
read and follow "the Body Ecology Diet", and allergy diets
go grocery shopping
finish Rebecca's baby shower gift!

Thanks to those who read! I love having a place to put my thoughts and ideas down and sometimes even get comments/thoughts back!

Amy

Back To Basics

2011-07-25T19:24:00.000-04:00

I'm once again writing about my diet, which is an on going battle. One of my goals, when I go back to work is to maybe work with people with eating issues/disorders. I have never really thought about that realm of social work, but given the struggles I am having, I am thinking it may be an interesting area to learn more about. With that being the goal and add on to that goal getting some nutritional education behind me, I decided that I really need to get myself back in line with healthy eating and healthy living. Along with that, I really need to get back to eating healthy and cooking for my family just to plain old save money.

Enter http://www.healthygirlskitchen.blogspot.com. The author of this blog started some posts about "The Beck Diet Solution". Her posts got me intrigued and I am using this as an opportunity to get back to basics. Day 1 of "The Beck Diet Solution" is basically to put down your goals. The thing is, you have to actually read your goals twice a day. I am going to try that, but we'll see how it works out. Actually you are supposed to write down your reasons for losing weight so here are mine:

to be healthy
to reduce my cardiac and cancer risk
to feel better with how I look
to have more energy
to feel better about myself in general
to be a healthy example for my kids

Day 2 is to choose your diet. I am choosing to follow Dr Neal Barnard diet, which is basically a vegan diet. I am in the middle of reading his "Breaking The Food Seduction" which I am hoping will help with the multiple food addictions that I have. I am also looking to follow the "Body Ecology Diet" for a multitude of reasons. I guess, according to this book you don't necessarily rush right into the diet, there are 2 weeks of exercises to do. I guess I should look at getting the book and looking at it so I at least know what I am attempting here.

Day 3 is to sit while you eat. This is one that I have been attempting to do as a family but am failing miserably, with me being one of the main culprits. I tend to multi task while I eat and as much as I know I shouldn't, I do. I am going to really try to sit and enjoy my food with no distractions, as much as I am able to.

That's we we're at so far. I'll continue to post what new changes/goals I am looking to make and hopfully this time, I'll be moving in the right direction!

Amy

Latest Project

2011-07-19T19:25:00.000-04:00

My friend T.J. from http://www.any-given-moment.blogspot.com, asked about my latest projects that I plan to make for my newest niece. She was wondering if I am going to use a pattern or make up my own. I guess the answer to that question is both. I plan on using this basic design here at http://www.modabakeshop.com/2009/09/ribbon-blanket-and-block.html and then moving on to make it my own. I plan to use 4 monkey wrench blocks since my sister is doing a monkey theme. I figured I would go with some traditional and some very basic blocks so that it is simple yet personalized. I am also planning on trying the ribbon block from that same site also. For the burp cloths, I am just planning on adding a personalized strip down the middle and maybe the bottom of some pre-made cloth diapers. I got some like that for my 3 kids and I love them. I am trying to figure out what to do with them now since I no longer need burp cloths and I would rather not use those for dust rags. Actually, after writing this post, I am thinking I am going to pull out my embroidery attachment to my sewing machine and embroider the squares for the ribbon block as well as personalize it with my nieces name Hannah!

So T.J., when I finish my project, I will post pictures. Maybe I'll even post some in progress pictures. I can't wait to find time to actually make these gifts! I am really looking forward to it!

Amy

Life

2011-07-18T19:06:00.000-04:00

I am working really hard to get back to where I want to be with regards to my beliefs! My beliefs such as: making gifts instead of just going to a department store and buying them, eating healthy home cooked meals, being active, using alternative means to having a healthy life, being as green and eco-friendly/conscious as I can.

I am planning on sewing a couple of things for my sister's baby shower and I finally planned her blanket. I was going to make an actual quilt, but then I thought about time and whether or not it would actually be used. I decided to make a ribbon quilt. It will be an actual quilt, but small and with ribbons that my newest niece will hopefully enjoy playing with. I want it to be used and loved, not just folded away some where. I am also planning on making a couple of burp cloths to match the quilt. I did buy the diaper bag that was on my sister's registry as well as some little things to go along with it, but I absolutely for certain wanted to make something for my newest niece. I spent Friday night drafting the ribbon quilt for my niece. I am hoping that it will look great. I hope that it won't be too over done. My sister decided to go with the monkey theme, so I have monkey and jungle material with coordinating fabrics to go along with it. I am really excited to start working on it. I also decided to do a couple of traditional quilt blocks called the monkey wrench. I hope it some out the way I planned it! Then I will be off to draft my kids' quilts! I am hoping to use non-traditional patterns for theirs and make the boys coordinating and Eva Rose's coordinating too, but add something girly to it also. I am planning on having them in the same room for quite some time, so I might as well coordinate all quilts with the space theme that we had decided on for the boys!

I am trying to really get back to eating healthy. I have started to have at least 1 green smoothie a day. I would love to move up to have more and decreasing some of the solid foods that I eat. How healthy would it be to have more fruits and veggies in your diet and be able to drink them and get all the nutrients that you need. I still ahve a long way to go to fully be where I want to be, but again this whole life style is a balance. I don't have to be all or nothing. I can make small changes and hope that as I increase the amount of small changes, it will add up to big overall changes! As long as I keep moving in the right direction, than I am happy with that. I have started to decrease the amount of sugar that I give the kids and me and my husband. I am trying to get the adults away from as much meat as we have been eating, but not really the kids. I was hoping to do more with a raw foods diet for the summer months, but I don't seem to be there yet. I also keep trying to get way from gluten and gluten containing foods as well as dairy!

Tom and I hae been trying to walk on average every other day to every day depending on the weather and our schedule. We have been walking 4 miles and I am finally seeming not to have aches and pains like I did when we first started 2 weeks ago. I really want to start doing yoga! I have all these thoughts, but I just don't seem to find the time to actually do it! I am hoping the yoga will help me physically and also mentally, dealing with stress in my life.

As for using alternative means to a healthy life, I want to learn more about herbs and aromatherapy and how to incorporate that into my life. I would love to learn enough to start a career with this. I also consider nutrition as an alternative means of living a healthy life. By nutrition, I don't mean following the latest fad, I mean eating a healthy diet that may actually even go against what mainstream society tells you to eat. I also want to include yoga and other things like qi gong in my practice. I would love to add some of these things to anactual career, but I think my husband would kill me if I changed my career from social work to something else! I think it's because I had just gotten my MSW/LCSW right before I had children. Maybe some day, I'll actually get supervision and get enough hours to get my LICSW and then I can practice social work and do therapy how I want to, not just traditional psychotherapy!

I just want to continue to recycle and reduce my contribution to any negative envornmental impact. I would love to re-use instead of always using new items. Someday, I'll get to a thrift store and start to use/re-use otehr peoples things especailly in new and creative ways instead of always buying new, even material.

God this was a long post! If anyone is reading this, this was another post to help remind me of my goals, not to preach. Any thoughts are always welcome!

Amy

Creativity

2011-07-15T18:23:00.000-04:00

Since most of my posts lately have been about food and diet, I thought I would change things up and write a little about my creativity, or lack there of. I haven't been very motivated to be creative. It could be that I am a wife, a mom of 3 under 3, work part time, trying to cook healthy, trying to keep a clean/somewhat organized house (focus on trying), or maybe it's just that I've been lazy. My friend Liz over at http://www.goddessinprogress.com, really inspires me. This week, after my darling 2 1/2 year old daughter started waking up around 5:30 am sometimes earlier, I decided that I needed to actually make the light blocking shades that I had been planning on for quite some time. Then I decided that the windows needed new curtains to go along with the space themed shades. So now my kids have their new curtains and shades and they have actually been sleeping til 7:00 am!

I am now inspired to move on to the quilts for my kids as well as the projects for my newest niece who will be joining us in about 1 1/2 months. I am still in the process of figuring out the quilt pattern for my kids as well as for my niece. I am also planning on making some burp cloths for her too. So I am now off to try to find good patterns for the quilts. At first, I had thought about just making space themed quilts for the boys since the plan is for their rooms to be space themed. The drawback is that my daughter shares a room with them too. Do I make her the same quilt? Do I make her the shabby chic inspired quilt that I had planned to make her? Or, do I make her a space themed quilt that is a little more girly than the boys, but that will still have elements of the boys quilts so that they coordinate? I've decided that we have entirely too many boy themed toys and we need to start encouraging some girl themed play, for all 3 kids! I think my daughter needs a quilt that is somewhat girly, but one that will coordinate with the boys quilt. Any thoughts? My friend Liz also inspires me to go beyond the traditional quilt block and try something a little different. I can't wait to see what I come up with.

I have many projects, almost too many. I really need to stay inspired so that I can get some things accomplished. I find that I really enjoy being creative, especially sewing. I don't always enjoy the process, it's something I need to work on. One thing I need to do is give myself enough time to complete a project so that I don't stress about a deadline! If I am not stressed about a deadline (which due to my chronic procrastination I often am), I do enjoy the process. The one thing I always enjoy is the outcome! I can always guarantee that I love the results especially if it comes out the way I want, but if not I'm still usually satisfied that I was able to create something.

Hopefully I can get some projects completed and post some pictures. Also, not to rush things along, but I want to get started thinking about Christmas gifts. Again, I find creating much more enjoyable when I am not stressed about a deadline, like I'm sure most people!

Amy

Making Changes Happen

2011-07-12T18:58:00.000-04:00

As those who have been following along know, I am and have been attempting to change my eating habits. I am making some definite progress, but I still have a great way to go. I have a new motivation though! My children, or should I say my oldest son. All of my children have a speech delay. They are all very active kids. Now you can say that they are not quite 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 (twins) years old and I absolutely agree! I am no where saying that I have issues with hyperactive kids, I just have kids that are more active than those kids that enjoy sitting and doing quiet activities. With my oldest, there has been some question (on my husband's part because I know nothing about this) of autism. I have asked his early intervention speech therapist who said no. I have asked the school teacher, more braodly, if they felt that his speech delay was a symptom of something else. Again the answer was no. My husabnd still has some concerns that there is more to him that has been diagnosed, and on some level I wonder too. But, on the other side, I wonder if there are foods that are making things worse and that it is more of a food reaction than an actual diagnosed illness.

Since I am trying to eat a certain way, and since that way of eating can only help my children, especially my oldest, I am motivated now to really look at what my meal plan consists of. Instead of just flying by the seat of my pants, which no matter how hard I try I never seem to get a plan in place, I meed to actually menu plan and plan along the lines of a diet that may benefit me and my children. Even if there is no change to their behavior, their speech, or anything else, at least I know that it is a healthy way to eat.

At this point, I am looking to eliminate gluten and sugar, and we have already eliminated dairy (for the most part). I say that we have eliminated dairy for the most part because, ingeneral we don't give the kids any dairy, but then once in a while they will have it if we are at a party, or now that it's summer we will have ice cream once in a while, but now where near the 7+ gallons of milk we were consuming prior to giving up dairy.

I am looking for good tried and true recipes. I have some cookbooks and blogs that I really like, but I really want to make things that me and my family will enjoy. If anyone has favorites, please send them my way!

Amy

Going Green (Smoothie)

2011-07-08T18:47:00.000-04:00

With my desire to start being healthy, I have started to look at the raw foods world, at least for the summer months. One thing that I noticed is the whole green smoothie "revolution". Ok, so maybe not a revolution, but it;s certainly a popular concept. A few years ago, my husband and I started to make green smoothies. We bought a book by Victoria Boutenko, who has been promoting green smoothies. Basically, it is a much easier and tastier way to get in your fruits and veggies, almost like a V8 fruit drink but better and probably better for you since you make it yourself. Green smoothies basically consist of fruit, a green leafy veggie, and maybe some water and protein powder if you wish ( we've used protein powder in the past but I have used it recently). I like my greens, but there are only so many I can eat at a time. I can drink these smoothies and feel like I am being healthy and getting in my fruits and veggies. Most recently, I have been adding in my homemade kefir with some stevia to sweeten the kefir. I had some last night for a snack and even when my husband wanted ice cream, I was a little more able to hold off and not be persuaded as easily as I usually am. I am hoping that one positive impact for me will be relieving me from my cravings. I don't see it or expect that it will happen overnight, but I am hoping that these small changes I am making will help me with my overall health and in time I'll be able to listen to my bosy and really trust what it is telling me.

Last night, as I was researching green smoothies, I went to a blog I have been following for some time now, www.choosingraw. One of the things that I read, which totally resonated with me was making small changes. For along time now, and with many things, I often feel like I have to be perfect right away or else it is a failed attempt. I am slowly realizing, I can make small changes to my diet that over time will accumulate to large very positive changes. I am also realizing that it really isn't an all or nothing idea. I can have some meat even though I want mostly to be a vegan. I can have dairy even though I don't want to have it every day. The healthier I get, the more I can listen to my body and the more I can trust it to tell me what it needs..com

Earlier in this post, I mentioned that I have been making homemade kefir. I am making both milk and water kefir and am loving both. I love water kefir. It is fermented water that has some small bubbles in it. Often I will drink it in a champagne flute or a wine glass just for the fun of it. I love drinking out of fancy glasses even if it is just water. I haven't really experimented with flavors yet, but I plan to do that soon. I haven't really been drinking the milk kefir, but I have been using it in mainly my pancake recipes and have made butter out of it also. I have strained the kefir and made "kefir cheese" and then used the whey in my pancake batter. I have started (just yesterday) to add kefir to my green smoothie. I really enjoyed it though I did need to flavor it with stevia, since straight plain kefir, like plain yogurt, is a little too tart for my taste. I'm loving my kefir grains!

Green Smoothie Recipe #2

1 apple
1/2 C frozen blueberries
1/2 C frozen berries
1C frozen mixed fruit
1/2 C sunflower seeds (magnesium)
1 head of green leaf lettuce (from my neighbor's CSA share)
water to blend to consistency of your liking
1/2 C kefir/yogurt (optional)
stevia to taste (optional)
(for the first smoothie of the day, I added the kefir at the end and just stirred it in with about 7-8 drops of liquid stevia. Later that night, I re-blended a glass of the smoothie with some kefir and stevia and I think blending it made it more amalgamated and I really enjoyed it much more)

I usually blend the fruit and water and then add the greens. You really can use any leafy greens you want. My husband is lacking in the magnesium arena so I added the sunflower seeds to help increase the magnesium for him. Blend to your favorite consistency and enjoy.

I am looking forward to trying more combinations as well as using veggies from our garden. I will post more recipes as I make them. I am hoping that, in time, these green smoothies with help me get my health back and as I've said, I can start trusting my body!

Have you had green smoothies? Do you have favorite recipe?

Amy

Disconnect!

2011-07-06T18:18:00.000-04:00

Recently, I started looking at a book called Nourishing Traditions. I had thought I wanted to buy it, but after realizing what it is all about, and not that it's bad it's just not the direction I want to go, I decided that I most likely won't buy it. What this book did for me though, was to make me think about my diet and how I eat. I've already written that I have food addictions and I also have an issue with over eating and hiding the food that I eat. What I realized first is, I have a real disconnect with food! If you were ask me how I feel after eating certain foods, for the most part I wouldn't notice if I felt different eating certain foods. I would also say that I couldn't tell you why I eat certain foods, why I over eat, if there are certain triggers that make me eat certain foods or at certain times of the day. The only thing that I could tell you is that, I tend to eat food whose taste lingers in my mouth. I tend to want that taste no matter how full I am.

My husband and I have been trying to eat a more vegan diet. Mainly for health reason, but also for animal rights reasons, at least on my part, I won't speak for my husband. Unfortunately with the summer here and the grill being used as well as my children seeming to eat more animal protein (they are only 3 and 2 1/2 ), I have found myself eating way more meat that I would like. One thing I recently noticed is that when I have meat, especially beef, I tend to over eat it. I'm sure, actually I know that there are other foods like that for me. Because of this realization, I have decided that I think eating more vegan is the right way for me to eat. I am also thinking that I need to start a food journal. I really need to connect more with my food and really focus on why I am eating what and is there something else non food related that is more what I need?

Now my dilema with going back to eating more vegan is, "What are some good ways to eat vegan in the summer months?" I really enjoy beans, soups, stews, roasted veggies, rice, but I want to enjoy summer also and I really don't desire eating those heavy foods. I wrote in yesterdays post that I was thinking about looking at the raw foods diet for the summer. I still think I will do that, but if anyone has any thoughts on how to maintain a vegan lifestyle through the summer (since I just started going plant strong), and/or any recipes, I would love it! I would love some good blogs sites as well!

Now as for the handmade part of my blog, I seriously need to get creating again. Hopefully in the near future, I will be able to find some time to do this! I have lots of projects, just not enough time to make them!

I am also thinking that I know the direction that I want to go when I truly get back into the workforce. I am thinking that I want to move towards nutritional counseling and education. I need to get myself on track first, but I really think I would enjoy that. Now I just need to figure out how to do this over the next 3-5 years!

Amy

Eating In Balance

2011-07-05T18:32:00.000-04:00

The name of my blog is "The Balance of Living a Handmade and Natural Life". I'm not quite sure that I have been finding myself feeling very balanced lately, especially when it comes to eating. My husband and i decided to move towards a vegan diet after his doctor and dietician recommended it for certain health issues and after some research about some family history on my part. When the weather was cold, and here in New England it was raw and cold for what seemed like forever, I felt like it was easy. Beans became a stable of our diet. Of course the kisd hated this type of diet so we started to switch back to meat for the kids. Then finally, the nice weather came and we started to cook on the grill. I have now moved back into the meat eating, dairy loving person that I was before we made our diet change. The problem?- I don't feel as good when I eat that way. I love the taste, but I tend to over eat, I feel horrible after and the cycle continues.

How do I plan on fixing this problem? Well, I have to say I feel more balanced when I eat a more vegan style diet. I do enjoy it, and when I don't have a lot of meat, I tend not to miss it. For me meat really ahs to be a once in a while thing or else I go over board. My biggest problem is summer. Now that the heat is here and that means BBQ season, ice and beans and roasted veggies don't really cut it. I know I can roast veggies on the grill, and even fruit and I can eat lots of salad, but how do I make it filling and satisfying like when I eat beans and veggies soups? One of the things that I am looking into, is the raw foods diet. Again, balance, as this would really be for summer and really warm weather when you don't want to eat heavy.

Will I be able to enjoy a raw food diet? That is the question that I keep asking myself. For lunch i made my husband and I a green smoothie. I really like them, but they tend not to hold me as long as other food, but I don't over eat with a green smoothie. I think I just need to have a snack plan for when I get hungry (something healthy and satisfying).

I am always striving for a balanced life, it just tends to be one of those things that I will constantly need to work on.

Today's "Green Smoothie " recipe:

2 bananas
1 apple
handful of green grapes
1 C frozen berries
a bunch of green swiss chard
water to blend

Blend all of the fruit together then add the swiss chard and blend until smooth adding water if needed. Almost any green leafy veggie can be used. Yesterday we had a variation using Red Russian Kale from our garden. We're hoping to get some more leafy green growing so that we can have more smoothies and use things from our garden. I would love to use more local fruits and hopefully I will be able to change that!

Amy

CTWW: Proudest Green Acheivement

2011-06-29T18:57:00.000-04:00

Once again I am joining in the change the world Wednesday. This week we are asked to talk about our proudest green acheivement. For me, my proudest acheivement is making many green changes over time and actually sticking with those changes. For some things, I still have a ways to go, but for other areas, I am truly happy with what I have acheived.

One thing I have started doing is looking at what health and beauty items I use and how I can make greener choices. I have attempted to make sure that the products I use are as natural as possible, and if I can I like to make my own products so that I know what healthy green ingredients are going into them. I also hope that I can reduce packaging by making my own products. Currently, I am using baking soda and essential oils for toothpaste, coconut oil/baking soda/corn starch/essential oils for deodorant, soaps with natural ingredients (I hope to make my own someday soon). I am always on the look out for new recipes to try so that I can be more green and more healthy.

I try to be very conscious about recycling. I try to make sure that if we can recycling things in our recycling bin, we do so. We currently have a house guest who does not seem to get the recycling piece of things, even though he likes to think that he is really green. I have made sure that the containers that he uses get recycled along with what we use.

Last year we started our first garden. Along with starting our garden, we started to compost. Our neighbor was looking to get rid of a composter and gave it to us. Not only did it help us financially (since we didn't have to pay for it), we were able to keep an old composter (that still had years of working time) in use. We now compost everything that is able to go into the compost bin.

These are just a couple of changes that I have made, but I think the biggest change I have made with regards to going green, is I now think before I act. I may not always make the best choice, but it is a conscious thought out choice and I try to make the most eco-conscious choice I can depending on the situation at hand.

What are you most proud green accomplishments?

Amy

CTWW:Review of Goals From Last Week

2011-06-22T13:46:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, I am not going to participate in CTWW this week. I'm sure that I am looking at activism in too intense of a way, but I just don't think I have time right now to commit. I have a social work background and when I return to work full time, I would love to work in an eco-friendly activism area (which is why I am probably thinking too big with this challenge. I may look more into doing it, but right now I'm not going to commit for this week.)

As for last week, my goal was to get coffee out, but to make it at home or just drink tea. I didn't quite meet my goal. For some reason, iced coffee just kept calling my name and I tried to avoid and ignore it, but I didn't plan well enough to have cream in the house for coffee, so what did I do? Did I go out and buy the cream? No, I went out and bought iced coffee at local coffee places (and by local coffee places I don't mean small shops, I mean chains). So my new goal is to stop buying coffee out and if I can't stop actually drinking the coffee, I will by the creamer at the grocery store, not the coffee at my local Dunkin Dounuts or similar places. In general, I am going to try to stop buying processed pre-made foods, but make my own. A big part of this is due to some food intolerances of me and my children as well as my husband. I am wondering if there are hidden foods that we are eliminating that maybe causing at least one of my sons to have an issue. Also this will greatly reduce waste and be better all around!

Where I did meet my goal or at least come close to my goal was in the area of driving for no reason. I made sure that when I went out in the car, I had a reason to drive, not just to go for a ride. I made sure that I knew what errands needed to be completed and where and tried to make it so that it was more economic and environmentally conscious to drive. If I had a better grocery store closer, I would walk with the kids and get what I needed daily or close to daily so that I could get in my exercise, get the kids outside, and not use my car as much.

After sitting here writing this post, I think I am going to re-look at the CTWW challenge and see f it is something I can do. I may have to think outside the box, but I really want to try to do this challenge and the challenges that get presented every week.

Amy

Eating Disorder?

2011-06-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

Never in my life would I have thought that I would have an eatign disorder. I thought that anorexia and bulemia were the only eating disorders, never thinking about over eating or compulsive eating as an eating disorder. But, you know what? I think that I am a compulsive/over eater. I have, for as long as I can remember, had a really hard time knowing when to stop eating. I have had issues with eating until I get sick. Now I don't mean that I force myself to get sick, I just eat so much that there is no where for it to go. I have never really been more than 25 pounds above the high end of my weight range and currently I am about 8 pounds above the high range. The thing is, I feel better when I am about 25 pounds less than I am right now.

I have been attempting to change my eating habits. I have written about havign a food addiction for certain foods. If you read Dr Neal Barnard's book "Breaking The Food Seduction", it makes perfect sense why I am addicted to the food that I am. My problem is that I need to stop eating those foods and like an alcoholic or a drug addict, I crave, really really crave them. It's time. It's really time to stop all this nonsense and do what I need to do.

I have a multitude of reasons for going plant strong. My husband's doctor recommended that he eat that way. I have cancer and heart disease in my family and going plant strong is one way to fight that history. I also have issues with high blood pressure. I have been pregnant twice and both times I ended up with pre-eclampsia. With my twins, my blood pressure was 188/111 the day I delivered them and that was on blood pressure medication. I just read some information that stated if you had pre-eclampsia you are more at risk for having cardiac issues even after you deliver your baby. Given that I have heart disease in my family and my only uncle (myu mother's brother) died when he was only 42, just 4 years away from the age I am now, I really need to get focused and make the changes I need to.

I really believe that going plant strong is the best way to go. I love my meat, but can't stand how animals are treated. I have a really hard time believing that it is ok to eat some animals and not others. I also have areally hard time sometimes eating meat when I think about my science courses that I have taken in the past. I often have the hardest time when I am preparing my own meat. If someone else has prepared it, I am more removed from it and don't think about it as much. That just goes to show you how important it is to be a part of the preparation of your food!

So I am here to admit that not only do I have food addictions, I more than likely have an eating disorder in the form of compulsively over eating. I need to get this undercontrol before I end up causing more health problems. I have to give credit to this blog post for getting me to think this way: http://healthygirlskitchen.blogspot.com/2011/06/hop-on-over-to-choosing-raw-and-catch.html

Hopefully I can start posting some of my healthy plant based recipes that I will be cooking for my family!
Amy

Change The World Wednesday

2011-06-15T21:56:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I wrote anything for CTWW, but here I am this week.

This week, make your coffee or tea at home. Getting coffee/tea out every day not only costs a lot but also generates a lot of waste. Make it at home instead. And don't forget ... both coffee grounds and tea leaves are great in the compost bin.

Or ...

If you don't drink these beverages or always drink them at home, choose one other food or beverage, which you typically buy at either a restaurant or grocery store, and make it yourself at home. And, of course, we'd like to hear all about it!

My husband and I stopped drinking coffee just after Christmas 2009. We started buying loose tea at Teavana and started making tea at home instead of buying coffee at those big expensive coffee houses. My husband has done great with this change. Me, not so good. I tend to be fine during the cold months since I really don't enjoy hot coffee that much, but once spring comes, I love my iced coffee. My older son started preschool this March and to get out of the house with my 2 year old twins, I started getting bagels and coffee out. This has been an expense that my family really doesn't need, never mind the crazy amount of plastic coffee cups in my recycling bin. Not only that, but I am trying to get dairy out of my diet, and having coffee every day at my local coffee shop means that I am having cream everyday. This is not good for my digestive system. I am also getting other foods that I am trying to eliminate from our diet. The other issue is that I am trying to eat whole foods that aren't processed. I am way too tempted to eat foods that I don't consider healthy and I end up getting unhealthy foods for my twins even though my goal is to get them to eat healthy foods. This challenge is confirming that I really need to stop going to coffee shops and getting my iced coffee. If I really desire ice coffee, I can make a cup at home and then I can use my own homemade almond milk and I can have healthy snacks for me and my kids. My real goal though, is to get away from coffee all together and go back to only drinking tea! Oh and we definitely compost our spent tea after making sure that we re-brew to get the most out of our tea leaves. I never thought that I would re-brew tea, and my grandmother must be looking down from heaven saying, "I told you you can re-use tea!"

And even though this is not part of this weeks challenge, I plan to stop taking car trips with no purpose other than to get out of the house. I will start taking the kids for a walk or once my older son is in school full time, I will start actually going places with the twins and make sure that every time I get in my car there is a purpose and that there isn't a better way to get my errands done.

Amy

Blogging

2011-06-08T19:21:00.000-04:00

I remember when I first found out about blogging. I was at a twin's group meeting and people were talking about blogs. This was about 2 years ago, and once I started, I was hooked. I first started with a blog about my kids as a way to keep track of the different things that went on in our crazy life, being a mom of 3 in 10 1/2 months. Then I got on this kick about healthy/natural living, thus this blog came to be.

Now that I am embarking on a major diet change, I am looking to my fellow bloggers for support. Now I don't really have a lot of followers, and I don't have a lot of people that actually comment, but I use my blog as a way to help me. I don't publish anything that is too personal, yet I try to be as honest as I can. I am using my blog as a way to document my struggles and hopefully my many more successes. I am also hoping to use this as a place to share some of my recipes that I have found that help me as I move along this crazy road of getting healthy.

To get specific, my goals are to become more plant strong and give up any animal foods. I am also going to start eliminating foods that have shown up on my list of potential allergies/intolerences. I have also been reading Dr Neal Barnard's book "Breaking The Food Seduction". I have only read some of it, but what I ahve read makes total sense to me, especially after taking a substance abuse class in grad school. It certainly makes me feel better knowing that there is a reason why I have such a hard time giving up certain foods. I know that this does not give me an excuse to continue to eat those foods, but it certainly helps me to realize how I need to deal the issues aound those foods.

The other part about blogging that I absolutely love is, I love to read other people's blogs. I wish I had more time to spend meeting people out in the blogosphere, but with 3 little ones, a husband, a house, cooking ,cleaning, work, and just every day little things, there is jsut not enough time. There are too many blogs to mention, but I get so inspored by reading other peoples blogs. I love learning about thier children, their way of eating, their struggles, and so much more.

So for my first recipe share, I want to share with you my Lentil dal recipe. I found a recipe years ago and have since lost it. At this point, I have made it so often, that I know the basics of what goes into it and have made it my own.

Red Lentils:
1 c red lentils
1 onion chopped
1 T yellow mustard seeds
1/2 t garlic powder (you can use cloves, but I tend to be lazy)
1 T garam masala
1 t cumin
1 t corriander
1 t fenugreek
1 t tumeric
1 lg can of diced tomatoes
1 handful of brown rice

Cook onion, garlic and mustard seeds in a small amount of oil. When the onion is translucent and the mustard seed are popping, add the rest of the spices and cook for a minute or so. After a minute add the red lentils after they have been rinsed. Add the can of diced tomatoes, the rice, and enough water to cover. I usually add about 1 3/4 of the large tomoato can. Cook until the rice is done, which I have found is any where from 30-45 minutes.

I have to admit that these are approximations of the amounts of ingredients. I tend to just kind of throw things in and not really measure exactly if at all. You can add other beans along with the lentils. I have added chick peas and tonight I added some brown lentils just for the fun of it. You can also leave out the rice and use less water and cook until the lentils are done about 25 minutes and cook the rice on the side. I am hoping to get more adventurous in teh kitchen and start trying to make up my own recipes. If anyone has suggestions for learnign how to make up your own recipe, like what spices go together and with what foods, I would love it. I am always on the hunt for new books and my new passion is cooking plant strong.

Amy

Making the Switch

2011-06-07T17:43:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have decided to wrote about my diet changes on this blog. At one point, I had started another blog just to talk about my diet changes, but I just don't have enough time to write on too many blogs. I've finally decided that I am going to fully commit to changing my diet, which means that I am going to have to eliminate a lot of foods, and a lot of foods that I really enjoy eating. I am hoping that I see some positive results from changing my diet so that I will be motivated to continue.

The more research I do, and the more critical thinking I do about diet, the more I realize just how much your diet plays in your overall health. There are so many different food/diet philosophies out there, and I'm not really sure that there is one right diet for everyone. The one thing that I do believe is that whole food cooking is the only way to really be healthy. Although I have to admit that I do not eat this way all the time, my newest goal is to always, or at least as often as possible, eat whole foods. By this I mean, I am going to cook my food from whole ingredients, not buy pre-made or processed foods. This has been my goal all along, especially when I started this blog. Some where along the way, this goal got lost and I stopped writing about it and I stopped really even thinking about it.

I've written before that I think I may have issues with Candida. This stems from issues I've had dating back to at least 2000 (whish is when I first saw a doctor for my digestive issues), and probably a number of years prior to that. The Candida issue makes the results of my blood test seem even more likely to be true. One of my sensitivities is to yeast as well as gluten, wheat, and other gluten containing foods. I have definitely had issues with long term anti-biotic use. When I was in high school, and I am having my 20th reunion this year, I had chronic urinary tract infections, for which I was placed on anti-biotics prophylacticly. I was even doing test for infections at home so that I didn't have to actually go to the doctor's office for a test. Then I was also on medication for acne as a teen. What I really should be doing is following an anti-candida diet and see if that clears up some of my issues.

This is going to be a long road. I've written often about my struggles with giving up certain foods. I've also written a little about how I feel that I have an addcition to these foods. There is some thought that once you clear up Candida and you heal your gut, you will be able to tolerate at least some of these foods once in a while. My concern is that if I go back to eating these foods once I heal, will I just be setting myself up to fail, just like a drug addict or an alcoholic who thinks that they can have just one? I probably shouldn't be looking this far ahead, but I am thinking that I also need to plan for the future. I believe that it will take some time to heal my gut and get rid of the issues that I am dealing with, but I think that I am finally at a point where not only do I want to do this, but I am really interested in making it fun and not looking at it as if I am losing something, but as a way to gain new receipes and try new foods!

Amy

The Gut Brain Connection

2011-06-06T19:26:00.000-04:00

The more I research, the more I realize that there is a gut brain connection. The problem is that I can't seem to make the necessary diet changes to see if there is a food connection to certain issues that I am facing. One specific issue that I think may be a result of my diet, is my inability to concentrate and feeling spacey. There are certainly more issues, but I won't go into them now. Part of the issue is that I really believe that certain foods have a hold on me and that they some what act in the same way as a drug acts in our bodies. With that being said, I really need to just stop eating the foods that I think trigger certain symptoms in myself. The hard part about food addiction is that you need food to live. Some of the foods that are triggers may be around all the time, unlike drugs and alcohol which you can get away from most of the time!

As a social worker, I truly believe that there are time when medication and therapy are the only way to deal with certain brain issues, but as a social worker I also know that there is more to a person than just symptoms. There is a whole person to look at and just because you stop the symptoms, doesn't mean that you fix the problem. This is where I think social work and holistic health can really work together.

Since I think that there is a problem, I need to look at the big picture and try to figure out what i can do to really fix the problem, not just mask it by covering up the symptoms. I also think that in reality, changing my eating habits, such as eliminating sugar, gluten and gluten containing foods, and dairy, will in the long run benefit my whole life. I am truly hopeful that by changing my diet, I will become a healthier person all around. I also think that changing my family's diet is going to be really important and also really tricky. My kids are already picky eaters, but at least my husband will eat anything.

As always, I am going to try to move forward and eat the way I need and want to eat. Iam hopeful that I will soon be writing more positive things about the way I am feeling and I am hoping that my mental clarity will greatly improve! I am hoping to write about the different types of foods that I will add to my diet and the different foods that I am eliminating. Any information regarding diet changes and these triggers is greatly appreciated!

Amy

Getting My Life Organized

2011-06-02T18:27:00.000-04:00

I've written a lot about my desire to get organized, so I will not belabor the point. I am slowly getting there, but it is certainly going to take some time. I have gotten a couple of shelves from freecycle to help get some of the toys we have organized and it actually seems to help a little. My biggest problem is maintaining what changes I make.

One of the newest areas that I need to work on organizing are the different things that I do to help me live a handmade and natural life. One of those areas is my recipes for natural house and beauty products. Right now, I have all the different recipes in different areas. My goal is to put these all in one notebook, separated between household products and beauty/body product. I have been making both my own toothpaste and my own deodorant and I really want to make sure that these recipes are at my finger tips so that I don't have to go searching. I know the basics; baking soda, cornstarch, coconut oil, and essential oils for the deodorant and just plain baking soda and essential oils for toothpaste. I also have been making my own body cream and I really need to write down exactly what I use since my husband has a specific cream that he finds works extremely well. At this point, I need to go through what I have for recipes and start organizing them so that I can easily find them when I need them.

I am also going to try to start off organized when I start learning about herbs and diet. I have my notebooks and my organizer, now I just need to make sure that I take notes in the right notebook and keep things organized and orderly. Getting and maintaining my organization will help me be able to get everything I need so that I can make the different products I need when I need them and not have to go searching for how to make them.

Amy

Moving Forward!

2011-05-13T18:12:00.000-04:00

So I have definitely made some changes for the better, but still have a lot of changes to make. I am still not quite eating exactly the way I should, but I have been better about eating actual meat. I still have animal products more than I want to, but small baby steps, so that I can ensure that this becomes a way of life vs just another short term diet. My goal is to give up dieting for good and to start eating healthy so that my weight and my health stay where they should be.

Yesterday, I bought "Breaking the Food Seduction" by Dr Neal Barnard. I have only read a couple of pages so I can't say how it is, but I am looking forward to reading more and figuring out how to break some of these bad habits/food addictions that I have. This is really going to be a huge change for me. I am really looking to change my way of thinking in general about a lot of things in life and the area of food, at least I hope, will make some positive changes in a lot of different areas in my life. My biggest goal is to stop eating meat and any animal product. I need to start increasing my intake of fruits and veggies, which I really enjoy when I actually eat them. I need to find good healthy options to deal with different cravings that I get, but I need to remember that once my body is back in health, I don't think that I'll continue to crave things like I do now. Hopefully when I crave things, it will be few and far between and I can allow myself to indulge on a small scale level. I also really need to give up the whole starchy carb thing, especially wheat, gluten, barley, malt, and yeast. These along with cow's dairy all came back as a high chance for allergies/intolerances and I know thta I don't deal well with dairy so I think it's time that I attempt to see how I feel when I don't eat these things.

I am hoping that getting better with my eating will help me to have more energy and concentration to work on other things in my life that I am interested in. I am also hoping that with better eating and adding in some exercise, my body will get back to a shape that I will be happy with and I will feel a little better about myself and have less doubts. Not that I was skinny and in shape before 3 kids, but having 3 kids, who at one point were all under 1, does not do nice things to your body.

So here's to taking control and getting my health back so that I can be happier in all areas of my life!

Amy

Getting Back On Track

2011-05-11T17:35:00.000-04:00

I'm finally getting back on track, albeit very, very slowly. There are some things that I have changed about my health/eating/creative life, which have gone back to my bad ways, but I am starting to get my focus back to where it needs to be and this time (even though I've said it before) I am taking things slow and really thinking about my decisions. I am really, really going to try not to beat myself up for not following through. I am going to really work at being positive about these changes that I want to make and I think just changing my attitude is going to be a huge help.

Along with changing my eating, there are a lot of other changes that I have been working on. Some have really worked out well, and some not so well. I was going to try to sew an hour a day this week, making clothes for the kids. That pretty much didn't happen. What I have done with regards to sewing for the kids is start working on their room darkening shades. I still have quite a bit to do for them, but at least I got started. Right now, as much as sewing clothes would be a benefit, I really need to focus on the shades. I could buy them, but where's the fun in that.

I have decided that I really love cooking, I just hate the cleaning up part. I think the cleaning up (not to mention the addiction I have to eating out and eating crap) is what makes me not want to cook. I am absolutely loving blogs. I think I have a slight addiction to reading blogs, I just don't have enough time to really read all the ones that I want to. I love that there are so many resources out there to help me find recipes that I really want to try. I love that, even though I love to buy cookbooks, I don't have to. I love that when I need to find a new and healthy recipe, I can just type in a search and I can find what I am looking for.

Along with reading cooking and craft blogs, I love finding natural health blogs. Aromatherapy and natural cleaning solutions are a couple of the areas that I have an interest in. I have to say though, my diet blogs are usually blogs that fall into the category of natural health because they are usually blogs that are vegetarian/vegan or deal with health and allergies, not just food blogs in general, or at least I look for healthy food options within my ideal diet on a lot of the blogs that I read (though I do admit to coveting a ton of non-healthy recipes that I don't make but would love to!).

Tonight I made broccoli rabe with white beans, carrots, and onions in a garlic walnut oil sauce and I ate it with brown rice. OMG, was it awesome. I love broccoli rabe anyway, but this was just a way to eat it with some protein and some other veggies and have it be just a little different. I used this recipe, http://hungrybruno.blogspot.com/2009/01/broccoli-rabe-with-beans.html, but I didn't add the bread crumbs or the parmesan cheese, which probably would have made it even better.

I am making a promise to myself now. I will not ever give up. the goals may change, but shouldn't they be fluid anyway?
Amy

What Am I Doing and Where Am I Going?

2011-05-09T18:28:00.000-04:00

As usual, I start out with the best of intentions and then I totally fade! I started out my day of a good note, but then I totally screwed it up. I have so much work to do to get to where I want to be. I had planned on making a great veggie dish tonight, but ran out of time. Here we are trying to eat more vegan, especially since my husband's doctor would prefer him to eat that way and that's how I want to eat, and I can't even get my act together to make meals. I have everything I need to make dinner tomorrow night and will most likely make it early in the day so that I can't use the excuse that I ran out of time. I am going to spend dome time and plan my meals for the week so that I again can't use the time excuse. I'm not exactly where my time goes, but I'm sure that I'm not being as productive as I can be.

I am not stepping foot in the cafeteria at work. First off, there is pretty much nothing I should be eating there. Secondly, I really shouldn't spend be spending money when I have plenty of food at home that I can be eating. Thirdly, I really want to be in control of my eating. Finally, I really want to learn how to cook and plan delicious tasting vegan meals.

When I go home tonight, I am going to eat my red lentils with rice. I am going to eat healthy snacks, like fruit and nut butters. I need to get back into my running, which I may try to do tonight, or I will do with the twins tomorrow morning. I really want to see how I do running without pushing a stroller, but I guess if I can run with a stroller, I can do even better without! I really will get this some day! I really will get healthy, eat healthy, and live healthy. I know what I want to do, I just have to step up and do it. I need to stop making excuses and start living my life the way I want and need to live it.

As for the creativity piece of life, I am starting to plan and cut out pattern pieces for kids clothes week challenge. I went to teh fabric store today and I have fabric and patterns to make. Now I just need to get cutting and sewing!

Thanks for listening to my therapy session. I feel like this way, there is nothing too sensitive that I am sharing, yet I am being accountable to anyone who reads this,
Amy

Complete and Utter Failure!

2011-04-29T18:50:00.000-04:00

Thankfully I don't have a ton of followers and not too many people read my blog. I have been a complete and utter failure with my eating. The only good thing I've done is try a couple of new recipes that were how I wanted to eat! Unfortunately, I ate horrible along with them so it basically negated any good that I did. What is it about being healthy that I can seem to follow through with? I have a feeling that this blog is going to be more of an online therapy session for me. It will be a place for me to talk about the issues that I have and hope that some how I can figure out what the hell is wrong with me and why I can't seem to be the healthy person that I want to be. I will keep trying to get to the point I want to be at. I am due to complete week2 day 3 of the C2 5K. I am hoping that after I put the kids in bed, I can head out and go by myself. I want to see if I do better without pushing the stroller with 2 kids.

On a more positive note, I finished my apron for the flirty apron swap I am in. I am always happy when I can make the tuck-ins. For me, I feel like I want to make them since we are creating an apron. I want to create the tuck-ins I send also. I need to mail it out tonight and then I get to wait for my package. I am truly loving sewing and I am pleased to say that even though it is a simple apron, I made it without a pattern and I actually love it and would have been happy to keep it for myself!

Onwards and upwards to becoming the healthy person I want to be!
Amy

On My Way

2011-04-27T19:07:00.001-04:00

I am starting to think that even though it is going to be a huge undertaking and I will have many set back (trying to use words that make less of a negative impact) and also times that I do good, I am ready to make some major changes to my diet. I think it is time to start eliminating certain foods to see if they are things that I have a reaction to. I know that I can't tell if I have a reaction unless I actually eliminate them, but I am ready. My husband needs to follow a similar diet that I want to follow, only he doesn't need to be gluten/yeast free. We will be pretty much be a vegan family. He needs to cut out meat and I want to. I need to cut out dairy and so does he. The kids don't eat dairy.
For dinner tonight, I made this recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/chickpea-quinoa-pilaf-vegan-295639 and substituted amaranth for the quinoa. It turned out pretty good. It will certainly be in my dinner rotation and fits the diet that I want to be eating. I really need to get my cookbooks/diet education books together so that I can prepare my meal plan based on the foods I should be eating. I love my iPad. I look up recipes, most often from blogs, and use the iPad as my own little cookbook. I love it, but I also still love having actual books, not just the internet. I may even start to put together binders so that I can keep hard copies of recipes from the internet, like the one above, so that if the recipe goes, I still have a copy.

Any vegan/gluten free/ yeast free websites, recipes, blogs are very much welcome. I have a few favorite blogs that I visit and try recipes from, but would love any and all suggestions! I will be certain to post what recipes I am trying and where they come from. I am loving trying out new healthy recipes, I just need to maintain my health and my resolve!

Amy

Inspiration

2011-04-26T19:26:00.000-04:00

I have been reading a ton of food/health and craft blogs lately and I am so inspired! All I want to do know is sew and cook. Unfortunately I have many other priorities that take precedence over my desire to do this! Fortunately I have 3 beautiful children that need my time and attention, but I just wish that I had more time, or that they would be interested enough in sitting for a craft project so we could all do something creative. Hopefully when they get a little older they will sit longer. Fortunately, I have a house to clean and a job to go to that also take up my time. All of these things are things that everyone deals with when it comes to prioritizing their lives. The good thing is that I have a family to cook for so that helps with my desire to try out new recipes. Unfortunately my kids take after me and are picky eaters. I am hoping that behavior changes. As they get older, I will explain to them how much fun it can be to try new foods!

I love reading blogs. Any time I feel in a slump about being creative or being healthy, or being green, etc, all I need to do is read a blog and I get inspired all over again. I just need to make time to enjoy the things I love all while taking care of myself and my family, ie: getting enough sleep! I have written about my goals for removing tv from my life, or at least incorporating the things I need/want to do into watching tv. I have been doing better with this, but as always it is a work in progress. I think I need to start putting pictures on this blog. I tend to put pictures on my family blog, but nothing really here. I plan to put pictures of the things I create, the food I cook, and the gardens that I have.

For now, I am off to figure out how to sew some more tonight!
Amy

Earth Day: A Little Late

2011-04-25T18:27:00.000-04:00

Friday was Earth Day and I have been thinking about what to write for today's post. I guess, at this point, I should take an inventory of how I am actually living my life. What am I actually doing to be more green and more earth friendly? I know I like to say that I am living a green life, but am I really? Am I just thinking that I am doing enough and I am actually following my beliefs? Am I really following through, or do I just say that I am living green and natural? As always, I am sure that there is more I can do, but am I really doing enough? I am sure that there is more we all can do, but is what I am doing really enough to coincide with my beliefs.

1) Cloth diapering- I haven't actually done the research myself, but I have read enough of the research that others have done to know that cloth diapering actually makes a difference. I have been cloth diapering since my oldest was about 18 months and my twins were 7 months. They are now almost 38 months and 27 months. I have definitely used disposables in that time period and sometimes I find that I am using them more than I would like, but over all, my kids are cloth diapered every day! The only regret I have is not doing it sooner.

2) Food- I would love to say that my food choices are great, but they are not. I have gotten away from eating beans and have started eating more meat. I'm not really liking my diet and I am trying to get back on track. More beans, less meat and processed grains for me (which means that's how my family will eat!).

3) Exercise- I have started the C2 5K program and was doing really well. I was getting outside with the kids and then crappy weather hit and fevers for 2 of the 3 kids. I was really enjoying getting out and exercising instead of joining a gym. I am hoping to get back on track tomorrow and start back up where I left off!

4) Making things- I am doing ok at making things from scratch. Be it food or clothing or anything, I am trying not to buy it already made! I made the kids Easter outfits and really enjoyed doing it. I wish I just had more time! My next goal is to start going to thrift stores and buying things cheap and stop always using brand new using things.

5) Using More Natural Items- I have been doing alright with using natural cleansers for the house and for health and beauty products. I want to do more. One of my next goals is to make soap. Then I'll actually know what is in it.

Amy

Diet and Exercise and a Healthier Me

2011-04-18T18:52:00.000-04:00

I have really been trying to follow what I believe in regarding my diet. Have I been able to really follow it? No, not really. For some reason, I tend to give up rather easily on diets. And by diets, I mean more like what am I eating vs a diet to lose weight. By diets, I mean, life style. At this point in my life, so close to forty (so scary to think it is only 2 years away), I am beginning to realize thta I don't need to diet, I need to change my eating habits for life! I need to not make short term changes, but rather long term changes that are going to see me through the rest of my life and keep me as healthy as I can be. I need to get back to eating mroe vegetarian/vegan. I really need to give up dairy! Every time I eat it, I tend too eat way to much way too often. Then, I start getting digestive issues and I end up not feeling extremely comfortable. What I really need to do is follow through with the elimination diet so that I can really figure out what my triggers are and stop eating them. I have a feeling that I have food intolerances not food allergies. Why this is hard for me is, I don't always get sick right away. Sometimes it takes a few days for me to feel the effect. By that tiemI have eaten more because pretty much everything that I have an issue with are things that I love to eat. As difficult as it is, I will get to a point where I am only eating what I really should be eating, not eating things that I love to eat that make me feel sick. I hope that I will also end up really enjoying the way I eat since I will be feeling healthier.

As for exercise, my goal is to run a 5K by the summer. I started the couch to 5K last week and am on week 2 day 2 next. I ended up skipping week 1 day 3 by accident, but felt good at the week 2 day 1 pioint so I am just going to move forward. I was hoping to run today since it was marathon Monday, but alas, I don't think I will make it. I am at work til 7:30 and then I have to put the kids to bed. I may try to go out after, but I'm not sure that my husband would like me running that late by myself.. There's nothing worong with waiting til tomorrow or even the next day since tomorrow we have a few doctor appointments with the kids. I am going to finish the C2 5K this time and I will run a 5K. My goal has always been to run. I remember in junior high school my gym teacher mentioned that I should run cross country. I was too afraid to try out and ended up in the marching band. I was still exercising, but I so wish it had been running. Now here's my chance to run and do it on my terms.

Even though I keep writing about getting my diet right one day, I really will start eating the way that I want to. Unfortunately, I may just need to keep writing about my failures or set backs as my husband calls them, until I actually meet my goals. At least I know what my goals are, now I just need to follow through.

Amy

Sewing

2011-04-15T18:33:00.000-04:00

I may have bit off more than I can chew with this one, but I really want to make clothes for the kids and I just happened upon kids clothes week challenge at http://elsiemarley.com/, which I found through http://hazelnutgirl.blogspot.com/. I wasn't searching for this challenge and since I said I wanted to listen to signs, I am taking this as a sign that I should take time to sew clothes for the kids.

On my way to work today, I was thinking about how much I like sewing and how I really need to do more of it. I started thinking maybe I should take more classes about sewing and even fashion. I was really thinking if I should start to think about purging a lot of my other crafting supplies (not totally, just a majority of them) and really focus on specific things, like sewing.

I really enjoy pretty much any and all crafts and want to maintain the ability to make things in different crafting areas, but I really need to settle in on something that I really enjoy and really focus on doing that well. I am thinking that since I really enjoy sewing, and it is actually a very useful craft to have, that it would be a great thing to focus on. I still want to make jewelry, scrapbook, make cards, and do all the other things that I have supplies for, just on a smaller level. It's going to be really important for me to seriously think about purging my craft supplies, because I just don't have the time or the space to keep it all. I have spent way too much money in the past and I kick myself when I think about how much money I could have in the bank if I had just had some control over my craft spending. I think I am at the point now where, even though I still get that desire to buy and learn all sorts of new crafts, I can pull myself back and just buy what I need for a current project, not things for projects that I hope to do in the future. I hate the thought of getting rid of my supplies, but I really need to think about my time and how I want to spend it.

Right now I want to spend my time sewing and I can really justify spending that time sewing necessary items for the house (along with sewing, knitting and crocheting). I am seriously thinking about training in this area. I have thought about it in the past, but have just been a little scared at the thought of doing it. I am always fearful that I am not creative enough, that I will not do well enough, That overall I am not good enough. I really need to get over this in so many areas of my life, so that I am no longer held back. It will be interesting to see if I move forward with learnign more about sewing or if I just let it sit. It will also be interesting to see if I end up purging some of my suppplies!

Amy

The Best Laid Plans

2011-04-14T19:27:00.000-04:00

I had planned to be this natural, holistic mother/woman, but in reality, so many of my goals just don't seem to be happening. Since I started dating my husband and learning about holistic health and holistic living, I have really wanted to change my lifestyle. In some ways I have, but in many ways, I still need work.

For myself, I really need to change my diet. I often make changes and then for whatever reason, I don't follow through. I really need to start following an anti-candida diet so that I can see if eliminating certain foods makes me feel better. I need to stop giving into my craving and start being strong and having resolve. I need to continue to exercise and hopefully this time, I'll meet my goal of running a 5K. I need to continue to be creative, since I feel like this is my therapy.

For my family,there are so many goals that I had that just never came to fruition and now I have no way of meeting those goals. Overall, I have given myself permission to say that it is ok that I didn't meet those goals. Sometimes, there are just certain things that get in the way that one has no control over. One of those goals, was to have a natural child birth. I attempted it with my older son, and due to different complications, I ended up with a c-section. When I found out I was pregnant again, I decided I wanted a VBAC. Then I found out it was twins, and that there would be certain requirements to meet. I ended up not being able to have a VBAC due to my son, baby B being breech. I had also wanted to breast feed my kids, but againthey just got a little time with breast milk, and my twins got barely anything. Again, there were certain circumstances that contributed to this, but sometimes I wonder if I could have/sould have tried harder. the other thing that I wanted to do was be a really great mom to my kids. I am not trying to say that I'm a bad mom, I am just saying that there are so many things that I could an dcan do better. I am really trying to make a point of doing what I want to do to be a great mom!

At this point, I just need to let go of the past failures and move forward with my current goals. I need to not let any failure become something that continues to make me go down the road that I really don't want to go down. I need to be clear with myself about what I want and what I need and make every effort to follow through. I also need to make sure that I am honest with what I can do and not make goals that will be certain to end in failure. My next post should probably be what those goals are so that I can have in writing what my goals are and I can make certain that they are attainable. If I learned anything from my social work career, it is taht goals should be attainable, something just out of reach and then once you attain that goal, you can change it again. Goals can also be changed to go backwards. If, for some reason, I find that I can't attain the goals that I have set for myself, I can always change it to something less stringent so that I can meet that goal and feel like I have made some progress!

God, I feel like I just had a little mini therapy session with myself. Not too many people read my blog, but I am realizing that those that do and comment mean the world to me, and even if I don't get comments, I think it really helps me to get out what is in my head. There is so much more I could write, but for now I will stop and start antoehr therapy session another day!

Amy

Trying to Follow My Beliefs

2011-04-13T18:23:00.000-04:00

I am trying so hard to follow through with the reasons that I started this blog. I don't always follow through, but I keep on trying. I am still washing my hair, for the most part, with just water. I do use a shampoo once in a while, but I make sure that it has no sulfates and is actually good for you to use as well as being good for the environment. I try to use house hold cleaners that are good for you and the environment. I try to cook things from scratch at home, but sometimes fail miserably. I try to cook and eat healthy, but lately it seems that I am not doind as well as I could be. I am trying to exercise, and will continue as long as the weather holds out. I was supposed to complete day 2 of the couch to 5k today, but there was noway to do it with the rainy weather especially since I'm still getting over my cold, never mind have the kids. I will complete it this year and I will run a 5K. I am struggling with following through with not drinking any soda, but I have not had any for at least 1 month now! I am trying to do better with making things. I love to actually make handmade things, and I love to make them for others, but sometimes I just don't have the time. The other issue is that I have this problem with being fearful that others won't like what I make, that they'll think that it's cheap ro cheezy to give a handmade gift, or that they'll just pretty much think it's worthless. I made my daughter's Easter ooutfit, and I have to say, I don't think that it looks handmade. I am pretty impressed with how it came out and it is making me think that I can acutally sew things for my kids without their clothes looking homemade.

I really need to get my butt to a thrift store. I really want to see what they have and what I can do with what I find. I am hoping that I can find cheap items that I can up-cycle and turn into fun and funky clothes for cheap. I just need to go and see what I find. I wish I knew of more places to try. The only one that I really know of is the Salvation Army on Rt 1 in Saugus. If any of my local readers know of any places please, please let me know. I am so inspired by http://newdressaday.com/. I would love to find pieces and turn them into some of the things that she does. Also, wardrobe refashion which is supposedly shutting down has some pretty inspiring posts also.

I will keep up trying to follow through with my beliefs. As the weather gets nicer, I'll start posting info about my garden. I will have both my flower garden as well as my veggie garden going again this year. I am hoping that I will have more time to spend in the garden given that the kids are a little older and will hopefully play better in our yard rather than running off into others yards!

Amy

Meeting Goals

2011-04-12T18:52:00.000-04:00

Last night, I wrote about a few goals I had for the week. One of those goals was to make my daughter's Easter dress. I went home from work last night and started cutting out pattern pieces and sewing and this is the almost finished product. The only thing I have left to do is hem it. Now I just need to make a barrette for her to wear. I have the stuff, I just need to make it.

My little ham

Holding onto Woody

As for my other goals, I followed through with my dinner plans for tonight for the family, but I didn't make it in time for me. I chose as best I could at work, eggplant parm. I still haven't had any soda, though I have craved it horribly. I did day one of the couch to 5K yesterday and tomorrow is day 2. I still haven't gone shopping for clothing for this time of year, but I really need something to at least cover my arms!

I haven't gotten to the Salvation Army yet. I really want to go and see what kind of goodies I can find and what I can do with them. I am hoping that it will spark my creative ideas and I'll do something truly creative instead of just following someone else's ideas.

As for my kids' diet, I am almost certain that Michael has an issue with dairy. We had pizza Saturday and then he had pizza last night. I guess I was just hoping that he could have it once in a while, so we trialed cheese. Needless to say it was a no go. Last night was the first night in a long time, like 2 months (probably the longest ever), that he woke in the middle of the night. Now to be fair, all I had to do is go in and put the blanket back on him, but that has never happened since we took him off dairy. Then this morning when I went to get him up, I noticed that there was blood on his sheets from him scratching at his arm. He has had a little issue with scratching his back, but I'm not sure if he just kept scratching at it because it was scabbing. I also noticed that he was snoring worse this morning, another thing that had gratly decreased since going dairy free. I am going to be very strict with what I give him. I don't now if I will feel comfortable giving him pre-packaged foods unless I can be sure that it is dairy free. I may need to look into seeing if there are other foods that may be contributing to this.

I am thinking that I really need to continue with watching all of our diets. I am thinking that losing the starchy carbs for all of us would be a positive move. I am hoping that with the right diet, we will all start to feel better. I need to continue to create sine it is what I truly love to do. I really want to make sure that I complete the couch to 5K and I actually want to run a 5K. I am thinking that I may run a 5K with another twin mom this summer. I really will feel good to complete the program and be able to run since this is a goal I have always had.

Amy

This Weeks Goals

2011-04-11T18:49:00.000-04:00

I have a few goals that I want to complete for this week. The first is actually following my menu plan. I pretty much have this week planned, now I just need to go shopping. Unfortunately, I will have to take my 3 kids along for the ride, so I'll be making a couple of trips. Some day, I'll get myself to a point where I get my meal plan done and I can go by myself on the weekend. So far the meal plan looks pretty healthy and I think I can deal with it for now. I was hoping to start the anti-candida diet, but these meals are certainly not on that diet plan. I'm sure that I could finagle them to fit an anti-candida diet and I may just do that for me and leave it the normal way for the rest of the family.

I just started the couch to 5K program today. I got an app for my phone and the first day went well. I may need to buy some exercise clothing for the spring weather. I ran in my sleeveless shirt and shorts today and while I didn't freeze, I wasn't exactly as comfortable as iI could have been. I think I really just need some long sleeve shirts and can wear my shorts, but I may get some capri length running pants to go along with it. I am really hoping to stick with the couch to 5k plan and really hope to run a 5k this summer, maybe with another twin mom friend.

I went to the twins sale this week to get some spring and summer stuff for the kiddos, but foolish me thought that I was meeting up with another twin mom to shop with her first, but she had meant the night before and I didn't realize it. So, I didn't end up buying some things I need like Easter outfits. So, my plan is to make a dress for Ms Eva Rose and then make ties for the boys. Hopefully the material I picked out with coordinate enough to look really cute. As much as I feel bad that the boys will be in ties, I think they are going to look adorable.

I have long wanted to shop the thrift store in the area, not that I really know of a ton, execpt for The Salvation Army on Route 1. As much as I would love to be like the author from the blog, http://newdressaday.com/, I am totally nervous about going to the Salvation Army. I don't know why, I think I have some mind block about going to a Salvation Army for clothing, but I am so inspired by that blog, that I just want to try it out. My friend Chantal has done some great things with pieces that she has gotten from there, and I am toally inspired by her and all the things that she creates.

So, to recap, my goals are: 1) follow menu plan, 2) keep up with exercising, 3) make eater outfits, and 4) get to the Salvation Army to get some cheap ethings to re-do!

Amy

Getting Back to Creating

2011-04-08T19:29:00.000-04:00

I signed up for another apron swap. This time the theme is spring/gardening and I can't wait to make my apron. I have the material which I love, and I ended up going to a Walmart that was a little further away, but ended up spending way less money than if I had gone to Joann's (though I have to admit, Walmart is one of those evils that I just have to do sometimes). We are supposed to add in tuck ins that spell out our partners initials. I have 2 of the 3 letter planned for, but I still need an S idea.

I often forget how much I love creating and crafting until I start reading other people's creative blogs. I am really thinking that I want to start making clothes for me and the kids. I'm a little nervous about them looking homemade. I remember being that kid in school with homemade clothes and everyone knew it. I probably need to start making things like pajamas to start practicing, then I can move on to things to wear in public. I definitely have basic sewing skills, But I'm not sure my sewing skills are good enough for clothing (though that is a goal)

I still have my mom's prayer shawl in the works, but unfortunately, I tend to need to have multiple projects going at the same time! I get bored quickly so I figure if I switch things up a little, I can save myself from putting it away and forgetting about it, which often happens.

I so wish that I had an actual studio where I had things set up. I can't wait for the day that I can either create with my kids (best idea) or the day that my kids can play independently without getting into trouble. I really wish that I had more time, or that I could figure out a way to make some of my passions, like being creative, natural living living, gardening, healthy eating/cooking, and make money at it!

I am going to figure out how to make sure that I am able to get creativity into my life everyday!

Amy

Diet Take 2!

2011-04-07T19:04:00.000-04:00

So after writing last nights post, I started to think about what is going on in my life and where I really needed to start listening. I am hoping to get some inspiraton on what to do with my life, but I think right now I need to listen to my body. I am always talking about changing my diet, and I end up making some changes for a short time, but then I go back to my old ways. Part of it is because I don't think I give my body enough time to feel better and then realize that it is worth making those changes.

This winter has been really tough on me cold wise. Right now I have a miserable cold that is totally kicking my ass (for the last week)! Spring is now here in Massachusetts, and I am really wanting to get outside and exercise, play with my kids, and just plain enjoy the nice weather. The problem, I feel to miserable to do any of this!

I just started thinking that maybe, just maybe this is my body's way of saying "HEY, YOU, LISTEN UP! I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH OF THE JUNK YOU FEED ME. I KNOW THAT YOU TRY TO BE GOOD, BUT YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER. STOP EATING THE STUFF THAT YOU KNOW IS NOT GOOD FOR ME!" If all my organs had the ability to talk, I swear that is what they would yell! I am wondering if not eating right, and probably not taking my allergy meds is just putting to much stress on my body, so anytime a little virus/infection happens, my body has to do more to fight it? Starting tomorrow, I am going to take my own advice and start listening. I am going to start eating the way I know I should be eating and want to eat. I am going to continue to not drink soda (which though hard is not all that bad). I won't list out all the things I know I should be doing, but I will start writing about what I eat and any changes that I feel. I really need to start drinking more water. I have enough water bottles that I can have a ton in the fridge so that I can just refill, grab, and go. This maybe too much to ask, but I am really hoping that this will help so many more aspects of my life, which I will write about later.

Here's to listening to my body!
Amy

Learning To Listen

2011-04-06T18:56:00.000-04:00

I was reading one of the blogs I follow, http://any-given-moment.blogspot.com/, and the author wrote about making decisions and listening to the holy spirit/God. While I totally believe that God, or some higher power gives us signs about how we should make certain decisions in our life, I don't feel like I am able to hear or see the signs that show me the way to go. I feel like I end up totally making decisions based on what I think I should do vs what I truly want to do. I have heard others say that they had a sign that helped them to make certain life changing decisions, but I for one, can't really say that I have ever felt that (ok other than knowing that I was meant to marry my husband).

I think one of the reasons that this is speaking to me know is, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I love being a stay at home mom and only working part time, but I am not sure that when I go back to work full time, I want to do the traditional social work things that I have done in the past. I have said this before, but I haven't done anything about it. I have all these thoughts, hopes, dreams, desires, and I know that I can't just dream about things, I have to do some sort of action to make my dreams come to fruition, but I just don't know what. I would love to do more with things like the idea behind this blog, something green, handmade, natural, healthy. I'm just not sure how to do that, make money, enjoy what I do, and not totally give up the whole social work thing (though I do think that my social work training will benefit me no matter what I decide to do).

I guess I should spend some time praying, only this time I think I should ask for the ability to see the signs that will lead me in the direction that I should be living my life not just for the signs. I guess I only tend to pray when I want or need something. That's actually a pretty poor picture of how someone should be praying. I try to pray often, and just give thanks for everything that I have. There's really not much I need to change in my life other than the direction that my professional life/career should move and how to go about doing it. I feel like, even though it's slow, I am progressing in home organizing. I just now need to figure out how to make my passions part of my professional path!

Amy

Gardening

2011-04-05T19:24:00.000-04:00

I've been reading a couple of friends' blogs and they have really gotten me inspired to get off my butt and start doing the things that I want to be doing instead of putting it off and putting it off. my last post was about exercise and eating right and this post is about getting my gardens ready. Hopefully the weather this week will allow me to get out and start cleaning out my gardens. The front gardens and the side garden really need to be raked out so that the new plants can really break through. It's been good that we have held off because we did get an April fool's day storm and this way the plants were protected.

I know that the weather here in the northeast can be a little finicky and even though we have some nice warm days, that doesn't always mean that those days are here to stay. I am looking forward to having the warm weather here to stay at least for a few months. I know that I will probably be cursing the heat and I will need to remind myself of how much I hated the cold and how little we could do. Being outside and working in my veggie and my flower gardens are activities that I am really looking forward to. I love being outside, I love gardening, and I can't wait to, hopefully, get my kids involved too. I can't wait to have fresh local foods too!

Amy

Getting Back On Track!

2011-04-04T18:56:00.000-04:00

I just read a friend's blog and she wrote about getting back in shape after having her third baby. Right now she is dealing with some medical complications with her new daughter and for her, getting back in shape is something that she can control right now and something that she can do for herself and her daughter. She has me inspired. She now has three kids, one being an infant in the NICU. I think that I, with three healthy kids, can get my ass in gear and start getting myself in shape. I have been doing better with my diet, but definitely need to step it up quite a bit so that I am really eating what I should be. I have been minimally active, but I really need to get it in gear and get moving. Right now I am recovering from a massive cold and the weather prety much sucks! That means I have not been a) motivated and b) too sick to have the energy to exercise. I just got the couch to 5K app for my phone and hope that along with the Nike+gps app, I can get to the point of running a 5K. I figure my little ones are 2 I should get my ass in gear and get in shape, espcieally since I wasn't in shape before I had kids!

On the food front, I really need to get back to eating better. I am not doing totally bad, but can definitely do better. I think weight wise, I'm doing ok, but I definitely need to lose at least 20-30 pounds! I really need to lessen the amount of meat that I eat, increase the amount of veggies that I eat, and decrease the starches and the dairy.

I am hoping that starting to eat right and exercising will get me healthy and in shape will help to keep me from getting sick like I have this winter. I am also hoping that I can help to prevent any disease, or at least limit the diseases that I may be more prone to getting, such as cancer and heart disease. I have to admit this isn't going to be easy and I know that I am going to trip up and back slide, but I really need to get my head where it needs to be and do what I need to do for my health! My mom is currently in the hospital after her first chemo treatment and I am hoping that I never have to go through this. Cancer is big in my family and now we have a 3 generational link from my great grandmother to my grandmother to my mother with breast cancer. I don't want to be the 4th genereation and I want to do what ever I can to keep my body strong so that it can fight off what ever it needs to!

Amy

Thoughts

2011-03-31T18:25:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine posted on facebook, a link regarding food dyes (http://mothering.com/). A few years ago, when we got verizon fios, I started watching a station called veria. I love a lot of shows that they have, but one of the things I learned was there are certain ingredients to look for in beauty products and food products. Certain dyes like red dye #4, for example (though I don't know if this is a real dye, but that's similar to what the label will say) are really really bad for you. Now all of a sudden, main stream media seems to be finally talking about how bad these things are for you. I just heard it the other day on the Early Show. When I was reading some of the comments on http://mothering.com/, I was kind of frustrated. People were blaming our parents for feeding these dyes to us. Others were saying that it's not the parents' fault because they didn't know any better. And even others were saying that the FDA should regulate these things. I don't blame my parents for feeding me some of these things. Back in the 70's, we didn't know all of this information, at least as part of every day life. Now here we are in 2011, and we are just finally having main stream media inform us about different dangers. What I think should happen is: the FDA, who I believe should be protecting us from ingredients that may potentially be harmful, should publicize that there may be dangers in ingesting certain items or putting certain ingredients in products that will go on our skin or lips, or other areas that would make it easy for that ingredient to get into our bodies. Do I think that they should police that these certain ingredients not be part of these products, yes, but I know that in the real world that is not going to happen. People want cheap, convenient foods and products and they don't care what is in them and never mind that corporations would never go for this much policing, they would lose big time profits. I just think that as consumers we need to educate ourselves and not buy things that we believe will do us harm. I try to be a label reader. I try to be an educated consumer. I try to only buy natural foods in their natural state. But for all my soap box talk, I often feel like I fail at this. Reading and becoming educated on what I need to do for my family helps me make better choices, but sometimes convenience gets in the way and I give in. I need to get off my soap box and start to follow my own beliefs more than I do some times. By making my own foods from ingredients vs say buying cookies, I will know what ingredients go in them and how safe it is for my children and me and my husband. So enough of my ranting and more on to acting!

Lastly, I also read a post at http://mothering.com/ regarding hanging clothes on a clothes line. If you've read my posts recently, you know that I am trying to conserve energy by hanging my clothes rather than using our dryer. Also, by hanging my clothes to dry, I am hoping that they will last longer and I won't need to buy thing as often, and since I tend to buy more classic items, they won't go out of style as if I bought more trendy clothing. The funny part about the post is that the author wrote about some of my hang ups (no pun intended) regarding line drying clothes. As a kid, we always line dried our clothes and I hated it. I hated the work it took to hang the clothes vs just throwing them in the dryer. I hated line drying because that's what poor people did, and it just reminded me that we didn't have the money like some of my friends did. Line drying was also embarrassing. Now as an adult, I look at line drying a little differently. By line drying, I will save money, and yes as a family with one full time income and one very part time income, saving money is very important. By line drying, I can save energy and do my part to reduce my carbon foot print. By line drying, I can have great smelling clothes. By line drying, I can get out in the fresh air and feel productive. Yes I still have my hang ups about line drying, but I know that it will help me move more toward doing what I believe for our environment and screw what others think of me. By line drying, my diapers will get bleached by the sun and help with sterilizing them! Unfortunately, here in New England, even though tomorrow is April 1st, we may be getting more snow. That just pushes off when I can line dry outside, but I need to look into good/better ways to line dry inside! Any thoughts?

Sorry for the very lengthy post,
Amy

Plans

2011-03-30T18:37:00.000-04:00

My goal of not drinking soda is still going strong. It sounds silly/stupid, but it's been 2 weeks since Ifirst wrote about giving up soda and I haven't had any since then. I feel really good about that, and now I need to add another goal to this so that I keep making good/healthy changes in my life. I think the next goal should be to eliminate dairy from my life. I do it for the kids, but I haven't yet done it for me and I really should! I will be looking for dairy free alternatives! this is not going to be easy, but it is something that I have to do!

My next non-food/health goal is to actually finish my mother's prayer shawl. I have two granny square blocks finished and have a bunch started that I need to finish. I also want to make her some chemo caps in case she loses her hair after the chemo, which starts tomorrow. My goal is once I finish the ones for my mom, I will make more to donate. This has been some thing that I've wanted to do for some time now, but I just haven't followed through. I have a ton more projects to work on, mostly for the kids, so I want to seet aside a specific time to work on some projects to donate. I really want to spend some of my time creating things that can make others happy. Tonight, there are a bunch of shows that I like to watch, so working on granny squares is an excellent thing to do so that I can feel productive while I watch TV. I have so many more projects to work on, that I really need to schedule time to do them, but first things first, I need to get the things for my mom done!

The next goal I have is to put together a schedule for the kids so that we can get things packed into our day and I can feel like a productive parent. I can keep the house clean and some what organized. I want to do what's best for them and I think having a schedule will help. It will help having the days with warmer weather, though we could be getting mroe snow in the next couple of days, but that's New England for you. I jsut need to figure out what we can do for activities now that Michael is in pre-school. It will be nice just having the twins for a couple of hours, but I am still stressing over making sure that I am home in time for Michael's bus.

I'm off to work on my granny squares. I will be working toward making a schedule for me and the kids so that we all get what we need out of our days! Any scheduling suggestions, other than classes that cost money?

Amy

Cancer Support and New Projects!

2011-03-28T18:27:00.000-04:00

So, I did it. I made the decision to cut my hair short and I love it! As I posted earlier, I initially started thinking about this because my mom was trying to decide between chemo or no chemo and one of her concerns was losing her hair. I thought that I could make the sacrifice of cutting my hair which I had been growing for about a year and a half, then I thought that maybe that really wasn't that much a a support. the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to cut my hair, not just for my mom but for me. I love my hair short, but for some reason, I thought that I should grow my hair long (I also wanted to save money and time). So in support of my mom and all those who lose their hair to chemo, I chopped off my hair.

Also, in support of Cancer, I started my first prayer shawl. I attempted to say a prayer while I was knitting it, but I found that I couldn't knit and pray at the same time, so I may just have to say a prayer at the end. I am hoping that it comes out nice and that I can give it to my mom for when she has her treatments. Unfortunately, she starts her treatments this week so I know it won't be ready for when she starts, but if I work really hard , hopefully she can have it for later. I am following a pattern, and it's an easy pattern and I know how to follow a pattern, but it seems like it is going to be really small. I may have to look at doing another shawl for my mom and give this one to someone smaller. I also want to start on some chemo caps for my mom and maybe in time for others. I may be able to do prayer hats where I can pray while I knit the hat. I've never heard of prayer hats, but what the heck, if you are praying for someone to get well, can't you pray while making anything for that person. I'm off to look at chemo cap patterns and pick one for my mom. Any suggestions?

Amy

The Simple Life

2011-03-24T19:23:00.000-04:00

I think I tend to make life harder on myself. Often I have these great ideas, but they are usually require too much work and I end up giving up. One of my recent comments was about living the simple life, and I think I really need to embrace that thought. I am making changes one step at a time and that seems to be making life a little less stressful an a little easier to handle. I made my menu plan for the week, healthy but easy. I think I only have one day that I don't have anything planned and that is Saturday since there is a chance that may be our take out night. I am getting back on track with my laundry, but I still have a ton of clothes that I have to fold and put away. Once that is done, I will be pretty good with the laundry. I have started to wash my laundry on cold, except for the diapers. Things seem to be going good with th new old washer. I really need to stop using the dryer so much. I want to get a clothes line for the basement like I had when I was growing up. It was like a real clothes line that hung from the rafters. Right now we are using clothes hangers, which works, but there are only so many hangers and I don't know if we have enough. I will be encouraging my husband to put up a line outside for the nice weather though. I need to start making snacks for the kids, especially for Michael to bring to school. My newest resolution is KISS, "Keep It Simple Stupid". Ny next step is to move on to doing more activities with the kids, that is more than just physical or maybe add some physical activities into some of the more sedentary activites I want to do, like reading a book and acting out the story instead of jsut sitting there while I read the story to them.

Not to keep talking about something as simple as my hair, but as much as I don't want to have to get my haircut often given the cost of haircuts, I have decided that I want to go short again. I am planning on going short like I was about 1 1/2 years ago. It was short, but not spiky short. I will ahve to spend a little time on my hair, but I am really looking forward to cutting my hair short again, though some would consider my hair short now. A friend is looking into setting something up for a haircutting event, but I am thinking I want to do this sooner than later. I am looking to stay local, but I am thinking I would love to get this done this weekend. I will post a picture once I get it done. I really can't wait. I think I grew my hair long again for some good reasons, such as time to get it cut, cost, and just the desire to try long hair again after many years of short hair. But I think I grew it for a lot of wrong reasons too, such as a certain person who is no longer in my life making some negative comments and feeling like I should have long hair because girls are supossed to have long hair and want long hair. the funny thing is I remember my grandmother saying that there are certainthings a girl should do, wear earrings every day, have long hair, wear a necklace eevry day. She was shocked when I got my hair cut so short and I was actually afraid to let her see it short at one point. But, I will always remember her telling me that she actually liked my hair short. That was an amazing moment. I also remember how I felt every time I got my haircut (that is if it was a good cut, there were some bad ones in there). I have gotten lots of compliments on how short hair suits my face. I've gotten some compliments with my longer hair, but mainly about my hair, not necessarily that the long hair looks good on me! My husband will say that either style look good, but I think short is better. Even though there is some nervousnes about the actual cutting, I can't wait for short hair again. I don't think I ever want to go back to long hair, but if history shows up anything, at some point, I will probably grow it out again. I just feel so good in short hair. I feel like it is the only time that I look good and in style. There is always the idea that I am doing it in support of my mom's potential for losing her hair, but that is really just a small part of it. I am really just doing this for me! I also have a potential salon that 4 people in my extended family go to and strongly recommend. Ithink I may be giving them a call, and I get to keep it local, always a good thing (that is if my friend hasn't started a whole process yet) I just am really excited about this decision.

Amy who in a couple of day will have a whole new look! Hopefully!!!!!

Hair today Gone Tomorrow?

2011-03-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

So, I am still questioning if I should cut my hair or not! I put a post out to facebook, and unfortunately got more don't cut than cut, but I can't tell if that is because they think either I look good in longer hair or because they like longer hair in general. The one person whose opinion I would trust beyond a doubt is my husband. The problem is he doesn't seem to have an opinion, or at least that's what he says. I do believe him. I think he would be honest and tell me if he truly had a preference either way. I am still having visions of having that cute short pixie cut again, but I am so afraid that I will cut it all off and hate it or I will want to go long again. Part of me thinks that this is just who I am. I love short hair, but then I get this urge to grow it again and as soon as it is long enough, I decide to cut it all off. I keep it short for a while then I get the urge to grow it again an the cycle continues. I should just accept that is who I am and go with what I feel. Part of the issue is keepin gup with haircuts and the cost of keeping up with haircuts. I remember having to go for a haircut every 3-4 weeks at times. I used to love getting my haircut, but I just don't have the time of the money. I put out to facebook that I am looking for a good inexpensive hairdresser and have only gotten 2 suggestions so far. Maybe there is no such thing as a good inexpensive hairdresser or maybe what I consider inexpernsive just isn't a reality. I was thinking about when I had my hair short for my sisters wedding. I remember trying on my dress and feeling like Audrey Hepburn, not that I looked that pretty, but that was the feeling that I got when I looked in the mirror. I can't believe that I am taking so much time thinking and writing about this, but this is a huge decision. I really want to just take the plunge, but what if I regret it. I know that i can always grow it back and the summer is coming. I can always cut short for the summer and gorw back in the winter if I choose. I have a feeling that a hair cut is coming my way. I can always use the excuse that I am doing it support or my mom's risk of losing her hair due to chemo, which really is actually what got me started thinking about this. I think I may just use my picture from my sister's wedding as the type of style I am going for. I love having a classic yet edgy look. My hair has always been the one area that I tend to experiment with, that and make up. I have a feeling I have made up my mind, I just haven't decided when to do it. I guess I'll have to talk to my husband about it. Oh well, I finally don't mind my curl and yet I still want to go short again!

This was October 2009, how I plan to cut my hair

Not the best picture, but this is me now

Thanks for listening,

Amy

Newest info: after I initially wrote this I posted to facebook about where to get a haircut. One of my friends is a selectman in town and is trying to get something together where there may be a benefit. I don't really know how this will work, maybe a cut for a cure type event. I don't know, all I know is that now that I have made the decision to cut my hair, I can't wait to do it. If it can be tied in with some cancer cause even better. And, I have the best husband. He is not only fine with me having short hair, but says he likes my hair either way. Gotta love the supportive partners. That's just one of the reasons I love him!

Who Am I Update

2011-03-22T18:30:00.000-04:00

I've written a bit about who I think I am and what some of my life goals are. I am actually starting to feel like I am accomplishing some of the goals that I have set for myself. When my mom got diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I took a long hard look at my life and decided to make some changes. Unfortunately, I decided to make the changes all at once. I should know myself better and I should know that I need to go slow. I need to make some small changes and make them stick and then move on to a few more small changes so that in the end I will have made all the big changes, just over a long time period. I have totally eliminated soda from my diet. With all of the new information surrounding soda, I am hoping that eliminating this will help in many ways, not just eliminating the bad things in soda. I am doing better with eating healthy foods. I think today might have been the first day I have been totally vegetarian, lacto-vegetarian, but vegetarian at least. I know need to continue in this manner then start moving towards vegan, yet if I have some meat at some point, I won't beat myself up about it, because I know that will just spiral me back to where I don't want to be.

Now that I have a working washer again, my laundry is getting more manageable. I am back to using cloth diapers. It's a little hard with Michael being in school and wanting to ensure that I have enough diapers for him. I have enough, but I just need to get into more of a routine with ensuring that there are cloth diapers for school. It's only been two days of school so I know I will get into more of a routine as time goes on.

As far as crafting and being creative, I just don't seem to make the time. I should plan better so that I have a project to work on while I watch my favorite tv shows. I am participating in http://flirtyapronswap.blogspot.com next apron swap again. I am really excited for this one. I have requested a full garden apron and put that I love bright floral prints. I am so hoping that my partner sees what I like and makes me a beautiful apron, like the ones that I have already received. I love how creative others in this swap can be. I am really looking forward to getting my partner and working really hard to get a package together that is really special.

Lastly, not that this is a major piece of who I am, it's really just the outward appearance of me, but I am again considering cutting my hair really short. I have spent the last year and a half growing it out and am actually for the first time in my life, loving my curls, which is what is making this decision so much more difficult. For years, I had a pixie style haircut and loved it. I felt a little outrageous, probably not the right word, but I can't think of a better one. I felt like I was saying yes I can be feminine and have really short hair. I loved wearing makeup and really wearing dramatic colors with the short hair. This was also pre-kids. Not that short hair is difficult, but you really need to get your hair cut often, especially me since my hair grows in so fast. I really need to wear make up to really make the short hair look right. The funny thing is, when I was getting married, I contemplated growing my hair out and my sister in law mentioned that it may be foolish since short hair was what I had been wearing for years and was at that time who I was (not that you should be defined by what you look like, but short hair was who I was). I am thinking that short hair is who I am and I should go back to wearing my hair short. I think my husband will shoot me if I tell him I want to go short again. I was thinking that given that my mom is getting chemo and that there is a good chance that she will lose her hair, I would cut my hair short in support of her losing her hair. I wish my hair was longer, then I would have no qualms about cutting it. I would go pixie short once again and donate my hair. I don't know that I can wait long enough to let my hair grow tile there is 8-10 inches of hair to donate. I don't know why hair is always my thing to obsess about. I think for a bit, I was afraid that to be feminine I needed to have long hair. I'm not sure I feel that way anymore. I think that I had fun with short hair and I think that some day soon I may end up with short hair again.

Just a few things about me. I hate to say that the hair paragraph is really what I needed to write about. It's not exactly what I want to focus on with this blog, but it is who I am and I think that I needed to write about it to figure out what I want to do, not that I have made any firm decision yet.

Amy

Health and Wellness

2011-03-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that I am writing again about how much I am sucking at this eating healthy thing. I really want to do this for myself, yet I can't seem to find the strength to actually eat healthy. I can't seem to find the strength to actually give up meat and soda and dairy, and all the other potential allergens that I need to give up to find out if they truly make me feel worse. The worst part about meat is that I seem to be able to give up good quality meats, just not the junkie fast food type meats. I have to say that as of right now I need to put into place some simple straight forward goals into place and then work on meeting those. I will pick 3 simple but important goals to work on this week and then I will add 1 more goal each week so that by the end, I will be living my life the way I want to.

Goal 1: go for a walk for at least 30 minutes with the kids 3 times over the next week (this should be a little easier now that Michael is in school for almost 3 hours a day and I'll only have to push 2 kids)

Goal 2: eliminate all soda. (No more diet coke, or any other soda at all, unless it is sparkling water, but even then, I'd want to limit it)

Goal 3: eliminate dairy (no more going back and having just a taste, because a taste turns into more and more and then I can't stop)

I think these are simple goals that will help me get to my final goal of living a happy, healthy life. I will start to include eliminating other foods that showed up as potential allergens and all forms of sugar. I will increase my activity level as I start to get in better shape. One goal that I have to male work from now until forever, is not eating out at fast food restaurants for me or my kids. I need to cook at home so that I know what is going into my foods and so I don't give someone else my hard earned money for crap! If you read this and are tired of hearing about all my attempts and failures, just know that this is a place where I can be honest about my failures and hope that noone will jusge me for not making my goals!

Amy

One More Way To Go Green

2011-03-17T19:17:00.000-04:00

I recently started to try to focus myself and this blog and write more about not just my struggles with healthy eating, but my attempts to be a little more green in my life. I had forgotten about my desire to start hanging up my clothes after washing them versus just throwing them in the washer. I had started hanging up my laundry in the basement while the weather was still cold, but recently got away from that when my laundry got a little out of control. I was reading Facebook today and noticed that one of the pages that I follow, I also follow their blog http://greenlifestyleconsulting.com/, posted something about the weather here in MA getting nice enough to start line drying outside again. I remembered that last year, I had wanted my husband to put up a clothesline in our backyard. Unfortunately, we never got around to doing it since we had so many other projects.

This year, my goal is to get that clothesline put up and line drive all of my clothes! The ironic thing about this is that if you had asked my just a couple of years ago, I would never have said that I wanted a clothesline. I would have talked about how happy I am to have a dryer after growing up without one. As a kid and a teenager and even until my early thirties, I remember hating the thought of line drying. A dryer was so much more convenient. Now, I am starting to think about what kind of impact I am having on the environment and what some of my practices are doing to me and my family, never mind the cost savings. I am even thinking about switching to washing my clothes in cold water. I guess I just always assumed that my clothes got cleaner using hot water, but at what cost? I am also going to start using vinegar in my risnse cycle as fabric softener, especially since I am going to line dry more often!

I know that I want to continue to also use environmentally safe cleaners. I am trying to remember to use vinegar and baking soda not bleach. There is a new mop on the market that I want to get. It has a refillable sprayer and a reusable cloth pad. I am thinking that this will be something useful to clean up after the kids eat and throw food on the floor. I think it may also just be a nice quick easy way to do daily clean ups on the floor and also use my own cleaning solution.

I am very excited that the weather here in MA is starting to warm up. I am so looking forward to getting out with the kids. I want to start exercising and getting some fresh air for me and the kids. I also can't wait to start our garden, one more way we are trying to be more green. I have started saving scraps for the composter. I want to start a few plants with the kids so that they can watch things grow. I can't wait for the flowers to start coming up again and I can't wait to walk out myu back door and get food for my meals.

What are you dong to be more green?
Amy

My Newest Thing to Try

2011-03-16T18:52:00.000-04:00

As we all know, I am attmepting to take charge of my health, and even though I'm having a hard time making the change fully, I am truly working on making life long changes. My newest idea that I want to try is water kefir. I have had kefir before, and I have even had and made homemade kefir with kefir grains, but only using dairy products. I do admit that I have tried coconut kefironce, but not made with grain, only a started from the "Body Ecology Diet". I was not a huge fan of dairy kefir, but the only real reason I am not having dairy kefir right now, ir because I am attempting to eliminate or at least limit my dairy intake and I am eliminating dairy for my children. Like I said, I had heard of the coconut kefir and it really wasn't that bad when I tried it, but I just never think to make it. Then I was at healthhomehappy.com and they mentioned water kefir. I checked into it and it looks interesting. I am thinking that I really want to try it. I am going to look at getting the grains from either cultures for health or another website that my husband knows of. It will be great to be able to get some probiotics for me and the kids. I am also going to check out Dom's Kefir Page. I really need to be more conscious about the decisions I make. I am going to get my health in order then hopefully everthing else with fall into place.

Has anyone made their own kefir? Have you tired kefir water?

Amy

New Recipes and New Thoughts

2011-03-15T18:31:00.000-04:00

I have been wanting the book "Clean Start" as well as "Crazy Sexy Diet" for some time now and yesterday, I sucked it up and bought them. I was thinking about trying a new recipe from "Clean Start", but I didn't have enough ingredients in the house. So I went to the web and found a blog:(http://www.nomeatathlete.com/clean-food/ ) with a recipe for millet and black bean burgers only to find out that the recipe was from "Clean Food" another cookbook by Terry Walters, the same author as "Clean Start" which I already own. I bit the bullet and tried a new recipe for my family which the kids hated but me and my husband loved. The amazing thing is that in the past, I haven't been all the impressed with millet recipes. The last two recipes I've made have been from this "Clean Food" cookbook and I have loved both of them. I am psyched because millet is really cheap, and I can enjoy some healthy food. I only wish that my kids would be better eaters. I am really looking forward to trying out more recipes in my new books and

My newest thoughts have some from a few comments that people have left regarding different posts that I have done. One of my postive qualities, yet one of my worst qualities is that when I get a thought in my head I totally dive right in full force and expect that everything is going to go just the way I want it to because I am so resolved about some idea. Well, it is one of my worst qualities because when things don't go as planned, for whatever reason, I tend to back off. A lot of time I want to make one huge change instead of multiple changes with the end result being the big change that I ultimately want. I hae decided to go slow and make all the changes that I want to make on more of a smaller scale or at least over a period of time so that I can maintain the really important changes that I want to make. I also think that I need to give myself permission to fail, but not give up. Again, I don't like failure, but like I said, I also tend to dive in head first instead of just dipping my toe in and going slow so that I will be less likely to fail!

It's funny, I sometimes think that blogging is really not all that I thought it would be. I don't have all the followers that some blogs have. Granted, I tend not to be able to be as active with other blogs as I would like, and that may be the reason for my lack of followers. My lack of followers may also be because what I am writing about is on little to no interest to others, but I am slowly realizing that those that follow and comment have really helped me with some of the issues I am having. So, thank you to all who read, and I really thank those that comment since the things that you write have really helped me.

Amy

I Really Can Do This

2011-03-14T17:56:00.000-04:00

I feel like I am pretty passionate about wanting to live my life a certain way. This biggest problem is that I can't seem to follow through with my belief system. I really want to stop giving my money away to the places that don't do anything for my health and well being. For some reason, I keep giving it away. My goal is to stop buying processed foods. What I need to do is make my own convenience foods. I need to make certain foods that freeze well so that I don't have to worry about making dinner every night. If I can get a good stockpile of healthy foods in my freezer, than I can just plan my week around what I made on the weekend and pull from the freezer. I know I can get this eating under control!

Our washer, as well as many other appliances seems to have broken. We are no longer able to keep up with cloth diapering while it's broken and my husband's friend who was supposed help us has more on his mind now that his son was in a car accident. I really like cloth diapering, but there is no way that I can go to the Laundromat everyday, nor do I want to pay for that. I actually hate disposables. Even though it is a little easier, I can't wait to go back to cloth. I have how I am contributing to the landfills. I hate using that stuff on my babies skin. I miss using cloth wipes too. I hate that I am having to use all the chemicals in disposable wipes. The good news is we may have a loaner til we are able to get ours fixed. Given that it may take some time to get ours fixed, this will be so helpful! Then I can go back to cloth, get myself back on track with my laundry and just overall be happier about having a washing machine and not having to rely on others.

I continue to be thrilled with my deodorant. I love that it is coconut oil, cornstarch, and baking soda as well as a few drops of essential oils. I have started to use baking soda as my toothpaste again and am so happy to use it reather than commercial toothpaste will all sorts of additive that don't do anything for the health of your teeth. I have added some peppermint essential oils as well as cinnamon and love how my mouth feels even when I first wake up (though I'm sure I still have horrible morning breath!). I am still mostly no shampooing. I really love how curly my hair is, yet it is not frizzy. Once in a while, I do shamppo, but I use a vegan, no sulfate shampoo that do not strip my hair and make it dry and frizzy. I haven't gotten my hair cut since September, close to 6 months. This may be the longest I've ever gone with out a haircut.

I still need to get myself to a thrift store to play with some up-cycling. I love seeing what the blogger from new dress a day does. What a way to save money, be creative, not buy into chain store fashions, and jsut plain have fun. I haven't really bought myself new clothes, not that I really need them. Though it woudl be nice to have something new, even if it is just new to me.

I am so glad that Spring is on it's way. I can't wait to get some spring cleaning done, get the kids and me outside, get the garden started.I really need to start exercising and getting in shape. The kids need to be able to run and play and get rid of some of their energy. We just need to be able to get outdoors and get some fresh air. Maybe, some spring cleaning will help with the desire to get organized and I'll actually get there.

Happy soon to be Spring!
Amy

The Binge Monster Is Back

2011-03-11T19:31:00.000-05:00

My binge monster is back and it is totally rearing it's ugly head. Since last night, all I've wanted to do is eat. Not only do I want to eat, I want to eat junk. Not only am I wanting to eat it, I am giving in to it. I can't keep doing this. I really need to sit down and maybe attempt something that I've seen used in psychotherapy meetings. I am going to literally try to talk to an empty chair and visualize that my binge monster is sitting there. I am going to tell him how I feel about him and what he is doing to both my physical health and my psychological health. This may sound a little crazy, but I've heard that if you basically personify the issue, it will help you to overcome your issues. I am going to say good bye and tell my binge monster never to return.

This may be an excuse, and I tend to be good at justifying things in my life, but I am wondering if I am starting with some PMS type symptoms. If this is the case, it's even more important that I deal with these food issues now, before things get out of hand. There are so many reasons to change my eating habits. First and most important is my pre-eclampsia history puts me at greater risk for blood pressure issues and I already have cardiac issues in my family, second is my breast cancer and other cancer risks, third is my potential allergies/intolerances, and fourth is just my overall health and well-being as well as needing to lose a good 25-30 pounds. Add onto that list with PMS issues and skin issues.

There is no reason for me to give into my binge monster. This is going to be quite a fight I'm afraid, but I know in the long run, I will win!

Amy

Organizing

2011-03-10T18:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, so yet another organizing post. I am starting to attempt to do my version of spring cleaning, even though Spring isn't officially here yet. With trash day tomorrow, I decided I would be good and clean out the fridge. I really need to get a system for storing leftovers, reminding myself what I have in the fridge and what needs to be used when. I couldn't believe what I threw out. Here I am trying to be money conscious, a little green, less wasteful, etc, and here I was throwing out all sorts of food that had gone bad because I had forgotten about it, or because I wasn't really sure if it was bad, but I didn't want to take the chance. My older son is going to pre-school in a couple of weeks, and I want to keep all of the paperwork I need somewhere safe. I want to have toys put away yet accessible for me to get for the kids. I have started putting some things in bins, but I think I need to be better at organizing the toys and only allowing certain things out at a time. I think I need to get more bins, shelving, space so that I can have a place to put eveything. I want to have their art stuff accessible so that we can do projects without trying to find the supplies. I want to have their favorite toys all together so they can easily play with them. I want to have a living room where I can feel comfortable having people over no matter when they may pop in. I want my kitchen to look clean and pretty, like other people's kitchens instead of cluttered and crazy.

Right now, I have a bunch of things that I want to work on, but I need to remind myself, babysteps. It didn't go crazy over night and it won't be fixed over night. I just have to take baby steps each day and maintain what I have already completed.

I would love my own desk, but I have no idea where I would put it. Maybe in the spare room that is just being piled with toys and clean laundry right now? I really need to utilize my space better. I kind of have a plan and I just need to follow it.

Amy

Lent: Giving Up Things So I Can Be Healthy

2011-03-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

Lent started today, and though I did not go to church and get my ashes like I should have, and even though I have already started the day on the wrong foot, I think I may actually give something up for Lent. When I was a kids, we always went to church and we always had to give up something for Lent. I used to give up ice cream, candy, cookie, that sort of thing, not really thinking it was a great thing to give up except they were things that I wanted as a kid. Thinking about it now, I am going to use Lent as my way of really kick starting my health journey. I am going to give up foods that are processed, full of sugar, not in their whole form, and not refined (I'm sure that there are other things that I am going to be giving up, but I just can't think of them tight now). I am going to start treating my body like the important structure that it is. I am far from a religious person. I have not really followed any real traditions of my faith for a number of years and for a number of reasons that I won't go into here, maybe another posting. But, with the Lenten season upon us and Spring rapidly approaching (I can only hope), I think it is perfect timing to start living the way that I dream of living with regards to my and my family's health and wellness. I won't go into details about exactly what this means to me, other than what I have already stated. Unfortunately, my son's 3rd birthday party is Sunday, but I don't think that I will partake in any cake. I will be making sure that I have food there that I want and can eat, like my kale and white bean soup and maybe even my Indian spiced beans and rice. We will have the meat sauce and macaroni that is a stable at any party in my family or my husband's. I really need to make this a true life change and not just change for a couple of days and then go back to my bad ways!

I will start treating my body the way I should be treating it. I will be fueling it with foods that will help nurture and support it. I wrote, in a previous post, that my mom has breast cancer and now I want to start taking care of myself since she is the 3 generation in a row to get breast cancer. I don't want to be the fourth generation. The good news regarding my mom is that her lymph nodes are not involved. Hopefully that helps with her prognosis and maybe there is a chance that she doesn't carry the gene. I am not holding my breath on that last one. For me, it doesn't really matter if the cancer is genetic or not. I need to start taking care of my body and protecting it from any sort of invaders. I have enough illness in my family to know that I need to change my bad habits or else my body will not be protected!

I will try to post more details about what I am doing as time goes on.

Amy

Going and Remaining Green

2011-03-07T18:32:00.000-05:00

I just read one of my twin mom's blogs about cloth diapering and it reminded me of why I started this blog. When I first started this blog, my goal was to write about living as naturally and as green as possible. Lately, I'm not sure that I have really been talking a lot about this area.

When I started this blog, I had just started cloth diapering. I have been cloth diapering my three kids for the last year and a half. I have had to use some disposables off and on (due to rashes or traveling but as I got used to cloth diapering I just used cloth when we were traveling) within that time frame, but overall, I have been able to keep up with cloth diapering. I have also started using cloth wipes, and they have made such a difference. I still have disposables for when we are out, but I have used old receiving blankets to make the wipes and I am using just a little bit of castile soap and some tea tree oil in water for the solution. I really believe that my kids have sensitive skin and using the disposable wipes all the time, is just too harsh on their skin. The only regret I have is that I didn't start using cloth diapers and wipes sooner.

When I started this blog, I mentioned how I wanted to use thrifted clothing, up-cycled clothing, or make my own. I have been able to do this a lot for my kids, but not so much for me. To be honest, I haven't really bought new clothes for me, but I haven't looked in thrift stores for clothing for me either! As I mentioned above, I have used old receiving blankets for cloth diapers and since I still have a bunch, I am thinking about making some "momma pads" which I have heard from reliable sources are much more comfortable than disposable ones. I just have to sit down and draft a pattern and then sew up a few. Another great way to use those old flannel blankets.

I am trying to be good at using homemade cleansers for the house. I have one cleanser that I am using which is really just water, castile soap, and lemon essential oil. I use a steam mop for the floor, so I am not using any floor cleanser, but I am using energy. I'm not sure what the best /most efficient way to wash the kitchen floor is! I will be looking into more homemade cleansers. I am a huge fan of baking soda though!

I am doing better with using natural body products. I have been using my homemade deodorant which is really just equal parts baking soda and cornstarch as well as coconut oil with some essential oils added in. I don't have the exact amounts right here, but if anyone is interested, I will post the recipe that I use. The other thing that I am doing is not using shampoo to wash my hair. I have loved not having to rely on shampoo to wash my hair. I have been following the protocol in "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey, and when I feel like I need to shampoo, I use a shampoo with ingredients that I can pronounce. I am using a fairly natural soap, but my goal is to learn to make my own. My husband's cousin is going to show me, but I just haven't set aside time to learn. I had been using baking soda and salt with some essential oils for tooth paste, but I got away from that and need to get back to it. I hate using products with ingredients that I can't pronounce. When I use hair gel, I am using gel that is made from flax seeds. I have to say, that I am impressed with how much hold there is.

I have been much better at making my own meals. I actually have a weeks worth of meal planning completed and now I need to prepare the next week. This is actually helpful in grocery shopping. I need to go to the grocery store today, but I know what I need to get and I don't need to stress about what supplies I need. I need to move on to the next week so that I stay on top of this. I am really liking having a plan and only buying what I need instead of buying too much and wasting food!

I am sure that I can be better at using less energy. I try to take short showers, but I do use awfully hot water. Not only is that probably not the most environmentally friendly, but bad for my skin too. I try not to run the water needlessly wether it is when I am brushing my teeth, doing dishes, etc. I try to shut off lights when I am not using them. I am going to try to limit my driving since it has a negative impact on the environment as well as my pocket. I'm sure there is more that I am doing as well as more that I could be doing.

I do need to make more handmade things. This is one area that I have been lacking in. The worst part about this is that I really enjoy making things, but yet I tend not to. I guess, I just need to make the time to do it. As I've often written, I need to stop watching so much TV, using the computer, using my iPad and iPhone. I need to just set up a project to work on and do it. Knitting projects are perfect for doing while I watch tv. I'm sure that there are plenty that i have to work on.

This post was as much if not more to remind me of what I need to be doing and what I am doing. I need to give myself credit for what I have already changed, yet I need to be aware of what I still need to change!

Amy

Cleaning House

2011-03-06T22:56:00.000-05:00

Friday night I went home, and no I didn't clean the kitchen or the living room, because I needed to find something in the bedroom. That meant that I needed to clean the bedroom. I actually got a lot cleaned out. I still need to do more, but I am really impressed with how it looks in comparison! I now need to make sure that I keep it this way and I don't let it get bck to the way it was! The biggest difficulty with this is, I am sick again! This time not only do I have a cold, but now I have laryngitis. Even tough I'm sick again, I still need to maintain what I have already completed!

I have had a pretty horrible last few days with regards to my eating! I stopped eating my raw green smoothies for breakfast. I really need to get my ass in gear and start eating healthy again! The only good thing is that we had ice cream tonight, and it made me sick! I couldn't even come close to finishing it. The only reason it was good, is now I have no desire to have it again, anytime soon! Tomorrow's breakfast will go back to a raw green smoothie, vegan style meals, and healthy snacks. I really need to focus on being healthy so that I can hopefully prevent a lot of family illnesses getting passed on to me.

I'm off to go grocery shopping tomorrow so that I can follow through with my meal plan!

Amy

Operation Get Organized To Start Tonight

2011-03-04T18:24:00.000-05:00

I've written about my need to get organized and I have made a few small changes, but I now need to go full force and "just do it". When I go home tonight, I will put the kids to bed and start cleaning and organizing one room, maybe my husband will even do one room, and then we can have 2 rooms done (we only live in a five room house not counting the basement and the garage. If he and I can tackle the kitchen and the living room tonight, that means just the bedrooms will be left and one of those bedrooms is the kids room which is actually not going to be bad to clean since there is not much in that room. My room and the spare room are going to be tough. I even thing that the kitchen and the living room are not going to be bad. The thing is, once we have it clean and organized, we need to keep it that way. I need to remind myself that even tough I am tired, ok exhausted at night, if i do a little each night to maintain it, it will only take a short time. One of my friends recommended http://flylady.net and since I've already looked at her web site, I know that she is a major advocate of making sure that you have a shiny sink before you go to bed, for example. This means, don't leave a sink load of dishes to wake up to the next morning because it will totally get out of hand before you know it. Another example she recommends wiping down the sink in the bathroom after you finish your morning routineI just need to do these things not just talk about doing them. I am tired of feeling overwhelmed with my house. I am tired of feeling to tired to do what needs to be done. I need to keep on top of things so that I can not be as stressed as I am right now. I need to stop watching tv, which is something that I never used to do. I am on my way to Fly lady's website now to remind myself what I need to do tonight and ongoing.

Instead of just writing about what I need to do, I am going to actually do it. Maybe one of my next posts will be my house is clean and organized and I am maintaining it the way I want to!

Any other suggestions on maintaining a clean and organized house are greatly appreciated!

Amy

One Step At A Time

2011-03-03T18:14:00.000-05:00

My last post gained me a couple of comments that I wanted to to talk about. My friend Nicole seriously recommended that I check out the Flylady website. The unfortunate thing about this is I already have checked out her website, joined her group on facebook and bigtent, and get e-mails from the website. The issue is that I have to follow through and actually read and put into practice some of the things that she recommends. Actually my husband mentioned this site to me when he was talking with someone about getting organized at work. I also have the Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.) book, which would be great once I actually put it into practice. The funny part about this book is that it is how my mom trained us to clean house. As soon as I started reading it, I knew exactly what it was. It's really funny how the things that I am looking at implementing in my life as an adult are the things that I was used to as a kid.

The other comment that I got was about taking it easy on myself. I understand the thought behind the comment and I so appreciate the reminder. I just so have to get myself in a place where I am comfortable with how my house looks. That means that I want things to be put away and have things look neat and orderly, but I don't need to have things immaculate. I have 3 kids that are actually still all 2 for another week. I know not to expect too much from myself, but I still need to have some expectations from me and the kids and even my husband (who is really good, sometimes better than I am at keeping things neat).

I have one week completed for my meal plan. I have a bunch of recipes to plug into other days so that I get the rest of the month complete. I still need to get a calendar to hang up on te fridge that I can reuse and erase if things change.

I need to get a little bit better of a handle on my laundry. I know that it will never be fully completed, but I just want to look at my hamper and feel like I am in control not my laundry.

What I really need to do is just start. It does not need to be perfect right away. I need to start with one room and get that completed and maintain it and then I can move on to other rooms and maintain them. Once I have things clean and orgainzied, I just need to maintain and that is the hardest part for me (you would think it would be the easiest). I know once I get to the maintainence stage, I am golden as long as I actually maintain.

Here's to menu planning and organizing my house so that I can actually enjoy my house and not be stressed by it.

Amy

Organization

2011-03-02T18:49:00.000-05:00

I am in the process of meal planning for the next month. Initially it felt overwhelming, but then I read the post of a twin mom friend and it didn't feel so overwhelming. She is using a calendar white board that she got at Target. I haven't gotten to Target yet, but I printed of some weekly calendar sheets from outlook and am using that as my planning for for now. My goal is to get the white board so that it is up for all to see and will be in my sight when I am in the kitchen. I am hoping that meal planning will save me both time and money and help me to eat healthy and follow through with my dietary goals for me and my family.

Once I get set on meal planning it will be on to other areas of organization that I need to work on. I really need to get my laundry under control. Every time that I think I am in control, it gets totally out of control yet again. I really need to make sure that I wash the diapers daily. the most I ever go is a day and a half, but I think that it is better all around to do it every morning. It may seem like a hassle, but I am so happy that I have been cloth diapering for the last year and a half. It is one thing that I have wanted to do with my kids that I have been able to follow through with unlike my birth plan, breast feeding, limiting tv time (this is something that I drastically have to change).

The other area is maintaining a clean and organized house. I get started, but then I just can't maintain. It is important for me to maintain an orgainized and clean house because once it gets away from me I find it so difficult to get it back. If I can get this in shape, I will hopefully have more time for my hobbies and to introduce the kids into more arts and crafts, especially now that they are older. I just finished my latest apron swap and even though it was pretty last minute finishing up, I really didn't get the same anxiety or stress taht I usually get when I am doing something last minute. I was really happy, overall, with how it came out. Ii just wasn't too thrilled with the rest of my package. Yet again, oraganization would have dramatically helped with this.

Here's to being more organized and less stressed!

Amy

Cancer

2011-03-01T19:27:00.000-05:00

I found out on my twins 2nd birthday (January 23, 2011) that my mom's mammogram showed a lump in her left breast. This is the same one that my grandmothers breast cancer started in. She has since had a biopsy which revealed that the tumor was 0.9 cm (about 3/4 in) and they removed 3 inches of tissue. The pathology report stated that she has stage 1 grade 2 breast cancer. This means that the tumor was small but semi aggressive and definitely invasive. This meant that they recommended and MRI to r/o any metastases as well as a lymph node biopsy. She was unable to complete the MRI with out getting sick, so that is one test that they are unable to do for her. Today was her lymph node biopsy. I guess, yesterday they injected her with a dye that would tell the surgeon what nodes to remove if any. My step-father said that the most the surgeon would take out would be 2 nodes, but they ended up only needing to take out 1 node. I guess that is a good sign. Now we just have to wait for this pathology report. As for treatment options, it really depends on the lymph node biopsy. If the biopsy comes back with cancer, then they are recommending 8 treatments of chemotherapy, then 5 days a week for 6 weeks of radiation. If the biopsy comes back without cancer, then she can choose either 4 treatments of chemotherapy and then the same radiation treatment or she can choose just to have radiation. At least one of my sisters and I are thinking that she should do the combo treatment and hopefully knock the cancer out of her system no matter what the results of the biopsy are. We also think that she can do conventional treatment along with CAM therapies (complementary and alternative medicine).

My mom will be having the BRCA test at some point. I'm not sure when and how this will play into her treatment. For now I am attempting to learn all the I can about preventing cancer, especially breast cancer. I am looking to apply CAM therapies to my own life for preventing breast cancer and any other type of illness that seems to be so prevalent in my family, mainly cancer of all types and heart disease. I have been drinking green smoothies, mainly consisting of some type of leafy green (red chard, collard greens, and kale so far) as well as berries, citrus, apples, pears, bananas, and grapes. I am attempting to eliminate pretty much all meat from my diet. Today has been the first day with out any meat. My next step is to move on and eliminate all animal products from my diet. I then want to eliminate all the allergenic foods that showed up on my blood test. I need to start exercising. It is March 1st and yes I know that it is New England and the weather is very rarely predictable, but I am hoping that the sidewalks will be clear enough that I can get out with the kids and walk with the goal to start running. I will be researching anything else that I can do to make myself healthier and keep myself from getting the diseases that seem to be so prevalent in my family!

Amy

Back To The Whole Reason I Started This Blog

2011-02-28T19:05:00.000-05:00

I started this blog about a year and a half ago to talk about my struggles and triumphs of balancing living a handmade and natural life. I feel like this blog has gotten a little away from that, probably partly because I have gotten away from living my life like that. I have been struggling to follow through with some of my beliefs that got me started writing this blog. I feel like lately all I have been writing about is my diet, and even though that is part of what I had hoped to talk about on this blog, it is not all I wanted to talk about. I guess, in order to remind myself why I started this blog, I want to write a few bullet points on what living a handmade and natural life means to me.

Diet: I want to eat as seasonally and as locally as possible. I know that there are going to be times that I can't or won't do this, but in the long run, eating this way is a much healthier way to eat. I want and need to find recipes that are based on eating local/seasonal foods. I know that there are a few books out there, I just need to find good ones. Currently, I have "Clean Eating" and am looking to get "Clean Start" by the same author. I am also working on moving toward a vegan diet. I have been starting my day off with raw green smoothies. I feel like I do so much better if I start of the right way. I am going to try to plan a menu for the month of March up front instead of flying by the seat of my pants and trying to figure out what to make each night. This has been a goal of mine for a while now, but I just never seem to follow through. My other goal is to finally eliminate all of the potential allergens that cam back on my blood test. Again, I've attempted to do this, but lack the follow through.
Handmade Things: I want to start to make more things myself. This includes food, but so much more. I don't want to always rely on going to large stores to get what I need. There are going to be times that I need to do this for financial reasons, but my goal is to buy supplies to make the end product, not by the end product out right. I also want to make sure that I find time to create. Making things myself will force me to find the time to actually make the things I need. I guess that would be the other piece of how I want to live; I only want what I need. I don't want to have that feeling of needing to have something just because I want it! I also want to use what I have, not go out and buy more supplies. The only way I want to buy more, is if I run out of something or I absolutely need to buy something to make a project. I would rather choose a different project than buy new supplies adding to all the stuff that I already have and then I can save money too!
Living Green: I am trying to live as green as possible. Some of the things that I have already mentioned fit this, but there are many other things that I can do. I need to make sure that I continue to recycle. I need to use my reusable bags more often. I try really hard, but sometimes I go shopping and I don't have them. I need to start composting again. I try to reuse ends of veggies to make veggie stock. I feel like this way, I am using all of the food not just part of it. Since I pay for it all, I should use it all. Also, why buy veggies to make stock and then throw them out when I can use veggies that I would have thrown out if not for the stock. And then, Why spend money on stock with who knows what type of ingredients, when you can make your own and now what is in there.
Exercise: I want to start exercising and including my kids in the process. Hopefully, with March starting tomorrow, the weather will start warming up and we can get out for walks. Even if it doesn't so much warm up, I need the snow o be gone so that I can push the double stroller safely. What I really need to do is find some good DVDs with mom and kid exercises that we can do together when the weather is bad. I think it will be a good thing for the kids to do to get out some of that pent up energy that they have not being able to go outside. I also want to add in some yoga for me and for the kids! When the weather gets better, I want to start bringing the kids to Breakhart and places like that. I will definitely need another adult or two with me, but I want to add being in and enjoying nature to the exercise mix.
Living a Wholesome Balanced Life: I want to incorporate everything that I have written here as well as continuing to use natural body products and home cleaning products. I want to continue to use more natural remedies for the different things that ail me. For example, this weekend, I felt the beginning tingle of a cold sore. Since I was up at 4am, I started my lysine regime right away. I am amazed that I neer got the traditional blister that i aways get. I must have caught it at the right time because two days later I do not have a cold sore! I have been using my own deodorant (baking soda, cornstarch, coconut oil and essential oils). I want to get back to making my own toothpaste (baking soda, salt and maybe some essential oils). I will continue to try to not use shampoo when washing my hair, but if I need shampoo, I will use those without sodium laurel/laureth sulfate. I want to start making my own soap (I need to get my husband's cousin to do it with me so I can learn the right way). I want to start making more of my own cleaning supplies. I know that I have a bunch of recipes printed out, but now I need to start making them.

I'm sure that there is a ton more that I can write. I won't bore anyone that reads this with more things that I want to do to change my life. This is really an outline for what I want to do with my life so that I can start living the way that I want to live.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post. This felt really good to write and I think I need to do this every so often so that I write down my goals of how I want to live. My next posts won't be nearly as long and won't be nearly as boring.

Amy

The Binge Monster

2011-02-24T18:12:00.000-05:00

I just read "How to break up with your binge monster" over at http://thedailydietribe.com and so much rang true with me. Just last night, as my previous post states, I totally had a binge moment. I had eaten/drank a raw green smoothie for breakfast, but that was it until 3:30 pm when my husband got cookies. Then I went to work and has a personal pizza, then came home and had some chicken and salad (the only good semi healthy part of my binge), then I went on to eat 3 english muffins with butter and jelly. So not good. I just craved food and gave into to everything that I wanted. Today was a little better, but on my way to work, I totally screwed up. I, again, started my day with a raw green smoothie, then we had errands to run. I hate cookies on the way, but only 3 (as if that is ok). I did eat a salad for lunch which was a decent decision, but then on my way to work I bought 2, yes 2, muffins, one cranberry walnut that I ate on the way and a chocolate dream with chocolate frosting (which I only ate half and threw the other half right away). The muffins were not a good decision. Bad on all fronts for me. There is way too much sugar, wheat, dairy, and just generally unhealthy ingredients. Sometimes, I just can't say no.

I think I need to have a talk with my monster. I think literally a talk. I want to say out loud, that I will no longer eat things that hurt me. I want to tell my monster to leave me alone and that even though he thinks he is giving me what I need, all he is doing is causing me pain. Like Iris over at http://thedailydietribe.com mentioned, this is going to be an ongoing battle (ok the battle part is from me), but as time goes on, I will see my monster slowly but surely backing off and not coming around as much, hopefully some day never to return.

When I go home tonight, I am sure I will snack, but I want to make sure that I snack on something healthy. I will be snacking on carrot sticks and hummus, one of my new favorite snacks. I will be looking to eliminate wheat, gluten, and dairy from my diet as well as the other foods that are at least 3 on my blood test. I am thinking, not only will I be healthier, but I will hopefully lose weight and have more energy. The other thing that I need to do for my health is increase my exercise. Hopefully the nice weather will be here before I know it and I can go for walk with the kids. At least if the snow melts, I can get out with the stroller and walk, since right now there is no room on the sidewalks for a double wide stroller and there is little to no way I can fit in time to exercise with the kids around. Maybe I just need to get out of bed earlier.

I think the other thing that will help with my diet is to keep busy. I have many projects to work on and could be reading mroe blogs! If I keep my mind and my hands busy, maybe then I won't snack or at least be tempted to snack on things that are unhealthy for me to be eating. Plus, I love to read blogs, I love to work on projects and I have a ton of books that I can read!

Amy, who promises not to keep ruminating on my diet and diet failures!

Blogging

2011-02-23T22:44:00.000-05:00

This blog seems to have become a public place for me to talk about my struggles/failures/set backs with my diet. I will admit that it is also a place where I can writebabout the few successes that I have. For example, I started my day out just the way I wanted to and had a great green smoothie. Unfortunately that is all I had until about 3:30 this afternoon when I down a bunch of cookies. Granted they were Newman's so they were better quality, but they were still cookies. Then, to make matters worse, I got pizza at work. The one positive is that I did not get soda. I don't think I had soda all day, pretty impressive! Writing this you would think that things can't get much worse, but yes they can! I came home and had 3, yes 3 english muffins with butter and jam. I totally started my day out great, yet I totally failed the rest of the day. I also had salad with chicken. Not so bad you say, but I am trying to cut out meat. Yes, tomorrow is another day, and I will be making some positive changes, but I am really disappointed in how thugs went today. I will definitely be starting out my day with my green smoothie and hopefully, I can end my day and look back and say that I had a great day. No excuses, but today was a little busy, I just should have made better choices! I'm off to read more blogs and get more inspiration. Maybe some day, I'll have people that follow and comment, but for now this is a great place to document my trials and tribulations of eating healthy, living green, making and creating handmade items, and teaching all of this to my kids.

For those of you who read and don't comment, thank you for reading! If you'd like to take a moment and comment, I would love it. Thank you for ny support that you can give!

Amy